Water can be as thick as Blood
by candi711
Summary: Amanda never had support from her family, so she was unsure how to feel when Carisi's family offered to take her under their wing. She felt she was stepping into a world where she didn't belong, but she was willing to take the risk for Jesse's sake. Her fears were only intensified when she began to have flash backs of her assult in Atlanta.
1. Invitation

**Disclaimer: I do not own SVU or Rizzoli and Isles or their characters, I am simply borrowing them for a quick story.**

 **A/N: the first few chapters are going to be setting up the relationships and then the story will pick up with some actual drama.**

Amanda paced her apartment in a fast and angry manner. Muttering to herself as she walked the same route from her kitchen to her bedroom and back again. Frustrated she grabbed her jacket that was balled up on the couch and threw it against the wall "dam her, I don't need to be coddled" she yelled as her favorite jacket hit the floor with a soft thud.

"Ever since I had Jesse, Benson seems to wants to restrict my movements even more, like she can't even trust my judgment about me taking care of myself". Amanda stopped at that moment staring off into space as she recalled her conversation with her commanding officer after her undercover job with Murphy, the same one where the senior detective revealed just that. She shook head to return to the present. Amanda understood why her lieutenant didn't always trust her judgment on a professional level and has excepted the fact that it may take years for her to be completely forgiven; but, in regards to her own personal capabilities, the blonde felt that her boss had no right to interfere.

A small noise drew the young detective's focus away from her angry rant. She quickly realized her daughter must be starting to wake up. "shh darling, its to early for you to wake up from your nap yet" Amanda said in a soft voice as she picked up her whimpering child and headed for the rocking chair. While the detective found a steady rhythm to sooth her restless daughter, she taught back to the events only a few hours ago that had put her in such a fowl mood in the first place.

* * *

 _The case had been a personnel one for the young blonde right from the start. It was her who had received the call from the hospital that a young woman had been assaulted and found lying in an ally way behind a bar. It was her who was able to gain the victims trust and take her statement, but that however, is where it started to go wrong. While in the hospital, the doctor would not allow the detectives to ask the young woman any questions about her assault, the the woman her self, Nadia, was resistant to even acknowledge that she had been attacked, but the evidence was their, the rape kit had been done long before the detectives had arrived._

 _It had taken several days to convince Nadia that it would be in her best interest to at least have a talk with the detectives and that it was absolutely up to her if she wished to press charges against her attacker._

" _You don't have to be afraid" Benson said softly in her voice she only reserved for victims "we will protect you, we can make sure that whom ever did this will be put away for a long time"._

" _You shouldn't make promises you can't keep" Nadia said bitterly as she looked at her hands that where neatly folded in her lap._

" _I wont lie to you honey" Amanda began "this whole process can take a lot out of you, and it can be difficult to except that something like this has even happened to you, but you have a strong case. We have surveillance footage from the bar that shows the attack on camera, and there was plenty of DNA from the rape kit to confirm it was your boss that attacked you" Nadia looked up at this statement, her brown eyes depicting fear and embarrassment._

" _So my attack was caught on tape, my rape is permanently stuck in time for anyone to watch when they feel the need" Nadia cried out as she ran her fingers through her medium length brown hair that cascaded around her face in soft curls._

" _No thats not how that works" Amanda said quickly as she slowly grabbed ahold of Nadia's right hand, being sure to move deliberately in a manner so she would not startle the woman in front of her. "I know it may seem like the whole world must be against you at this moment, but believe me honey, with that video there is strong evidence to put him away for years, to make him pay. Not many survivors of rape ever get such a chance" the young blonde said earnestly as she gave the other woman's hand a slight squeeze "and that video is evidence, it will only be shown to convict the bastard who is responsible for this, and after the trail it will be sealed away for no one else to see"_

 _This seemed to work, for Nadia began to nod her head slowly and whisper "ok"._

 _Benson took out her phone to use as a recorder as well as a note pad to write the statement "alright Nadia we need you to start at the begging, to the first time your boss Mark approached you and did things you where uncomfortable with" the senior detective asked knowing from earlier research that this attack was not the first Nadia had suffered from the hands of her boss._

" _Where to begin" the brunette said with a smile that showed no happiness "you know that I am the guardian to my little sister, Amy, since our parents died four years ago" the detectives nodded in confirmation "well she has health issues, expensive ones that are thankfully covered my my company's medical plan. Everything was going great for a long time, that is until Mark found out about my sisters condition" Nadia shuttered as she recalled his advances. "Mark had liked me for a long time and when he found out about Amy he used it to his full advantage"_

 _As Nadia revealed the method Mark had gained leverage over her, Amanda could not help but shiver. It was too similar to how her own boss from Atlanta, Patton, had taken advantage of her. How he had assaulted her in the name of protecting her sister from prosecution, only to never be prosecuted for what he did to her._

" _He said that if I wanted to keep my job, to keep being able to protect my sister, I had to make it worth his while. He cornered me and said he wouldn't take no for an answer" as Nadia spoke those last few words Amanda's hands began to shake. A movement that did not escape the notice of Olivia. The rest of the interview went quickly with Nadia revealing to five separate occasions of when Mark had sexually assaulted her. Amanda, however, was struggling to stay focused and out of her head the whole time, she was silently glad that Olivia was there to take notes and record the interview. As soon as the process was finished Amanda quickly made her way to the womens restroom to calm down._

" _Amanda, Are you ok?" the blonde detective jumped when she heard her boss speak. Amanda had been splashing cold water on her face in an attempt to regain some of her composure and had been completely oblivious to the presence of the older woman._

" _Ya, I am" Amanda lied "I just wasn't able to sleep well last night thanks to Jesse, I just needed to splash my face a bit". Olivia did not buy this excuse for a second, the older woman was able to see as clear as day that the young blonde in front of her was in distress, a fact made clear by Amanda's still shaking hands._

" _You know Amanda" Olivia began in a soft voice and sympathetic eyes which caused the blonde to cringe, she hated when people showed her pity "its alright to ask for help. I know this case probably brought back bad memories of Patton...". The older woman was cut off "thats not what happened Liv" Amanda said in a defensive tone "I'm fine really"._

" _Alright" Olivia said putting her hands in the air in a surrendering motion. Benson bit her lip for a moment thinking how best to say what was on her mind "but you have been pulling a lot of extra shifts lately and I don't want you to become sick. Tomorrow's Friday, why don't you take it off and have a long weekend"_

" _I don't need a break Liv" Amanda spoke quickly, beginning to get angry at the thought of her boss thinking she was not putting one hundred percent into her job._

" _Actually Amanda, yes you do, in fact all of us do but its a luxury we can barley afford" Benson stated in a matter of fact tone that left no room for argument "take the weekend off and spend time with your daughter, these moments are important, enjoy them while they last for soon she will be in school and your time with her will get ever smaller, you'll wish you could just return to this time"_

" _Liv, my Jesse is only 9 months old" the blonde laughed_

" _Yes, but doesn't it feel like it was only yesterday that you where taking her home from the hospital" Benson said in a truthful tone that Amanda could not argue with "you are taking the weekend off and that's final" with that Benson turned on her heals and walked out the bathroom door, not giving the young detective a chance to speak again_

* * *

A sudden nock at the door roused Amanda from her memories. She looked down at her now peacefully sleeping daughter and smiled. The young mother slowly stood up to place her child back into her crib and see who was at the door.

Amanda was not surprised to see Carisi standing on the other side of her door rubbing the back of his neck. He had been visiting her often, ever since she had Jesse. His expertise in all things children had saved her butt on more than one occasion.

"I ah, I heard that you were given the day off" the male detective stated sheepishly "just wanted to stop by and see if you were feeling alright" he ends his last few words in a tone that sounded like a questioned

The blonde sighed and opened the door wide and walking back into her apartment, signaling him to enter "ya I'm just fine, in fact I am so fine that I should be heading to work tomorrow not being confined to my house like a child" Amanda exasperated letting her frustration build again

"Hold on Amanda" Carisi began "No one's treating you like a child, everyone needs a break once in a while, but come on" he said as he waved his hands at her "we know how stubborn you are, you'd work your self into a coma if we'd let you"

"Dom, thats the very definition of treating me like a child" Amanda said using the nick name she calls Carisi by when its just the two of them, or when she's eating dinner with his family. It wasn't like she was in a relationship with him or anything, but he and his family have been helping her out more than she would have ever expected. After her near death experience delivering Jesse, Carisi visited her everyday in the hospital and brought his mother along on several occasions. Elizabeth Carisi was a strong woman, with a strong sense of morals. Once she heard that a coworker of his had just had her first child with no family to speak of for support, she decided to unofficially adopt Jesse as a granddaughter. At first the idea was a little off putting to Amanda, but with nothing but good intentions radiating from the elder woman, Amanda had no choice but to agree. She was thankful that such a kind family would want to even pay attention to a near stranger, but she soon became more connected to the family once Dom's sister, Bella, started to bring her daughter Elle around for play dates. Looking back her interactions with the Carisi family seemed to have started so innocently and tiny enough that she didn't even realize how connected she had became until they were regularly inviting Jesse and her over for diner and other small get togethers. In the begging, Amanda had to admit that she was suspicious of Crisis' motives, helping her out like he had been. In her experience there was usually one reason a man would go so out of his way for her, and that was to get into her pants. With Dom, however, it was different. He never once tried anything inappropriate, nothing but the pure desire to help out a friend in need and this drew her even closer to him, allowing herself to actually trust the man that stood in front of her.

Carisi just shrugged at her response "look Amanda, the real reason I need to talk to you was to ask you something very important" the male detective said in a quick manner. Amanda looked at him with confusion in her eyes, was she wrong about Carisi? Did he only go out of his way because he really was looking for something more from her than her friendship? "My mom is going to kill me Amanda, for forgetting so please forgive me" Carisi asked pulling his hands up as if he were praying.

At this motion the only thing Amanda could do was raise an eye brow in anticipation to what in the hell his mom would kill him for, in all of her dealings with Elizabeth she had known the woman to be considerate and understanding. Which made Amanda think Dom had messed up big time.

"My mom asked me months ago to ask you to come with us to Boston for her family's annual get together, and one night when she asked me about it I said that you already said you would come and its this weekend, and she is expecting you and Jesse to be there" Carisi rushed out just hoping that he would not be slapped across his face for asking such an unreasonable request.

"Wait! What?" was all that Amanda could respond with at first

"I know this is super last minute, and I have no right to ask you for something so unreasonable, but I can assure you it would be fun and I would pay for everything" the young male detective pleaded blinking his big blue eyes at her.

"I don't know what to say Dom, this is really last minute and I don't really belong with your family" Amanda put up her hands and quickly added "you are all great, and have done more for me and Jesse than anyone should have, but it would be like I was butting in on an event that I have no business going to"

"You do have business remember, my mom's very open about the fact that she claims Jesse as her granddaughter remember" Dom stated raising his eyebrows in a manner that said 'come on you can't keep a baby away from an overly dotting grandmother'. "Please let Jesse meet the other side of her family, I think it would kill my mom if she couldn't be there" he stated as if he actually forgot that Jesse was not really a member of his family, and any bond they had with her was only as fictive kin, but the idea that Jesse could have a family to lean on for support, support that she never had or could honestly understand, warmed her heart.

With a sigh Amanda looked down and then turned her body towards her daughter bedroom "well I would hate to be the reason for Elizabeths' premature death" she responded as she turned her head to face him "but what about Fannie?"

"Oh my god you'll go, thank you! She really would have killed me!" Carisi shouted before he could be shushed before he could wake the baby. The blonde was already waving her hands at him to be quiet when she heard a cry coming from Jesses' room. The young female detective rolled her eyes in annoyance and playfully hit her male companion in the shoulder while shaking her head. "Sorry" he said grinning slightly "and don't worry about Fannie, I will pay to put her in the best doggie hotel I can find for the weekend. I promise"

Amanda simply nodded her head as she handed him her crying child. He woke her up, then he would be the one to calm her down. This, however, happened in a matter of moments. The male detective always had a way with Jesse that almost put a twinge of jealousy in Amanda's heart and also a bit of sadness that her daughter would never have a father like him. "So i'll pick you and Jesse up around nine tomorrow morning" he stated as soon as he had the baby laughing in his arms "and don't worry, your going to love my family"

 **A/N: so this is my first SVU fan fiction, and unfortunately I am terrible at writing romance and other such stuff so don't expect a real intimate couple at all, if they ever truly become a couple. I intend for this to be a cross over with Rizzoli and Isles so be prepared to see some familiar faces from that show soon. Heads up, I am dyslexic and do not have a beta reader so please don't be mad at any grammar or spelling mistakes, I try my best to catch them all but, spell check can only do so much. Please tell me what you think :) thanks for reading.**


	2. The family

**Disclaimer: I do not own SVU or Rizzoli and Isles or their characters**

It was near 11 at night before Amanda, Carisi, and Jesse had finally arrived at the hotel they would be staying at during their time in Boston. The small group had planned to get to their rooms around noon on that Friday, however the universe had different plans. The were meant to spend the afternoon mingling with some of his family before the big event tomorrow, to gently ease Amanda into the playful chaos that was his mothers family. Instead they spent the day at the bank trying to get Carisi a replacement debt card, for the one he had lost the day before as well as being stuck at the side of the road for a few hours as their front tire had popped nearly two hours outside of New York City.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all" Amanda had stated as soon as they checked in "I mean it seems like there were plenty of signs telling us to turn around" she laughed tiredly, being stuck on the road with a cranky baby was draining for all parties involved.

"Ah come on I know you don't believe in that type of stuff Rollins" Carisi quickly responded "besides, at least we will have our own room now and wont be sharing with my mom anymore"

"What?" the blonde asked, confusion evident on her face "where is your mom staying then, I don't mind finding my own room for Jesse and me, remember I was the extra person in the first place"

"Don't worry about it Amanda, mom called me when you where talking to the tow trunk guy" the male detective stated matter of factly "My aunt grabbed a hold of her and refused to have her stay anywhere else but with her, thus leaving us to our own devices" he continued as he began to put their luggage down as they walked into the hotel room.

Amanda took a good look around the room. She noticed two queen sized beds, a single night stand between them, the dresser with the flat screen tv hanging above it, and a small coat closet. The bathroom was directly to her right just as one would pass the door, with a shower, a separate tub, a toilet, and a sink all organized neatly in side. In all, the room was much nicer than she would have expected it to be, nicer than she would have gotten had she tried to find Jesse and her another room. "Well at least there are two beds here"

"Why? You afraid we would do something we shouldn't be doing if there's only one" Carisi said laughing as he flopped down on the bed nearest to the door

"Oh shut up Dom, I may have gotten pregnant by a one night stand" the blonde said in a joking manner, pretending to be offended "but I am not the type to jump into the sack with any man that comes my way, despite what any rumors would have you believe"

"I would never say or think anything like that Amanda" Dom said in a serious tone "and I would gladly kick the ass of anyone who says other wise" he finished, looking intensely into her eyes, as if he was just waiting for her to give him a list of names of people who may have told her as much in the past. ' _Great job Amanda_ ' the blonde thought to herself ' _way to make a joking atmosphere serious in half a second_ '.

"No I was just joking" Amanda said waving her hand as if to swat a fly "just forget about it". Dom didn't want to drop this direction of their conversation, he wanted to tell her not to make light of her own self worth, but it was getting late and they both had a big day tomorrow.

"Well it's getting late anyhow, and we're supposed to meet everyone after breakfast at the park tomorrow around nine, but with my family that really means ten" Carisi laughed "goodnight Jesse" he said softly as he walked over to the sleeping baby and gave her a kiss goodnight on her forehead "goodnight Rollins" he turned to her and squeezed her shoulder before turning around and preparing for bed.

"Night Dom" Amanda answered, as she went to prepare for the night herself, sneaking glances at her partner as she worked.

* * *

It was easy to tell that the day was going to be a beautiful one. The sun was shinning but it did not hit the earth with the hot intensity it usually did back in Georgia. Amanda thought of the summers she had as a child back home running through the fields unsupervised with her sister, back when times were simpler: her father had not left them yet, her mother not a drunken mess, and her sister not the mentally unstable woman she was destined to become.

"Looks like were here" Carisi's voice startled her out of her thoughts. Amanda stepped out of their car and headed to the back seat to grab her daughter as Carisi walked to the trunk to grab Jesse diaper bag and the foldable chairs they would be using for the day. "Come on Rollins, you can't be that tired, Jesse slept like a baby all through the night, pick up the speed" the eager male detective happily stated practically bouncing on his feet.

"You know I never met a person so excited to go to a family function as you" the blonde responded while giving him a look that said 'I will walk at the speed I dam well please'.

"Really? I don't find it weird" Carisi answered as he slowed his pace to match hers as they walked into the large park "I mean I love my family, and we don't get to meet up like this very often anymore, so I take each occasion as something special" he stated truthfully "Don't get me wrong. Not every one that's going to be there is my favorite person in the world, in fact I don't get along with several of my relatives. But we're all family and will always be there for one another no matter what, right"

' _I wish I understood_ ' Amanda thought to herself while looking down at her daughter ' _but for her sake I am willing to try_ '

"Look there they are" Carisi said excitedly as he points a few yards in front of them to the mass of people around dozens of chairs and tables. Amanda was taken aback by the sheer size of the group, there seemed to be more than one hundred people gathered in front of her. "I thought you said this was a family get together not a convention" the blonde states with shock evident in her voice. Dom simply laughs "I told you I came from a big family remember, my mom is the second oldest of seven siblings, and each of them had at least three children, not to mention that some of their cousins and families are here as well"

Amanda did not have time to respond to that new piece of information for they were already reaching the fringes of the family party and had gained the notice of several party goers. "Sonny" several people shouted at once "took you for ever to get here" an older man with gray hair stated as he grab 'Sonny' by the shoulders and messed up his hair while he gave him a kiss on the cheek. "and who is this beautiful woman you have here" the old man said as he reached for Amanda

"Uncle Joey, this is my co-worker Amanda" Dom said as he made the introductions "Amanda, my Uncle Joey, he is my moms older cousin" he explained.

"Amanda, how lovely to meet you" Uncle Joey said warmly as he kissed the blonde on the cheek and gave her a hug "my god Sonny, your daughter is beautiful, she takes after her mother completely, thank the lord" the older man said playfully as he cooed to the blonde baby in Amanda's arms "but why the hell didn't anyone tell me you finally had a baby, I would have made the lass a gift".

"Oh" Amanda began slightly, not knowing how to explain to the man that Jesse was not Carisi's child.

"Actually Uncle Joey, Jesse's not mine" the young detective cut in saving Amanda the explanation "Amanda's my co-worker from New York, but she's like family and thats why I brought her here"

"Well regardless of any official tittles, your here now and welcomed by Sonny, your part of the family" Uncle Joey said with ease moving the four of them further into the crowd.

The next several minutes passed much in the same way as their first encounter with one of Carisi's relatives. They would run to embrace the young man and quickly move onto Amanda and Jesse only to be confused by being corrected that Jesse wasn't his, but continuing to be friendly none the less. The blonde detective had been trained over many years to take in large amounts of information and be able to retain it for future use, but at the moment she was having a difficult time, the sheer number of people being paraded in front of her and offering them greeting was almost over whelming. She was absolutely unable to keep track at how everyone was related to each other, for somehow, she learned relations can be quite confusing.

"Look there's Ma" Carisi said over the introductions of a several new relatives "come on lets make our way over to her" Amanda gladly complied, anything to find some sense of balance in this mass of people.

"Ma, how was your trip here?" Dom asked as he approached his mother from behind giving her a kiss as he did so.

"Sonny!" Elizabeth answered happily as she notice her only son "it was full of traffic as usual. Amanda, honey I am so glad that you were able to make it here" the older woman stated with a grand smile "Where is my baby girl" she continued reaching her hands out to take Jesse from the blonde. Elizabeth cuddled and cooed the baby, as if the child was her very own. Jesse happily played along, giggling and laughing at the antics of her adopted grandmother.

"Sonny, Amanda, your finally here" came a voice from behind them. The pair turned to see Carisi's sister Belle walking towards them with Elle on her hip, followed by Teresa and Gina, the younger two Carisi sisters. The three women offer them greetings and kisses "So mom told me you two had a room to yourselves last night" Gina said with a suggestive voice. "Oh shut up Gina, be a little more mature" Teresa responded while playfully hitting her sister on the arm "Carisi's our brother you don't ask him that... you wait until he leaves and ask Amanda" she finished playfully.

"Ma!" Dom yells at his mother who was watching the whole scene unfold with a smile "tell them to stop"

"Come now girls, don't pick on your baby brother" Elizabeth scolded playfully, Carisi just looks on face flushed red and at a loss for words.

"Don't mind them" Belle states as she hands Elle over to Amanda for a moment to make her a bottle "They are just happy, since mom now has two babies to fuss over she is no longer pestering them about having children"

"Oh I don't mind" the blonde laughs "I actually like to see Dom rendered speechless for a moment, it gives the rest of us the chance to speak" the women laugh

"Oh my god, Sonny is that you" a shout was heard from several yards away "look how much you've changed, you shaved that hideous mustache" an older woman looking to be around the age of Elizabeth yelled as she finally reached him and shook the young detectives head from side to side

"Haha... yeah Auntie Ang, I know you always hated it" Carisi laughed as he gave the woman a hug and kiss

"Sonny my man" Another voice rang out

"Frankie" Carisi responded as the two men grabbed each others shoulders and play hit one another "congratulations on making it to detective, how'd you wheel your way through that one" he joked

"Haha, at least I didn't have to change precincts several times until I found one that liked me" Frankie said as he made a jab for Carisi's shoulder

"It may have taken me awhile to find the right one, but the station I work at now is the best dam precinct in the country" Carisi retorted to his cousins statement

"I would beg to differ" another voice wrung out and the two men stopped their rough housing "It can't be the best if the best detective isn't working there" a tall, thin woman with black hair exclaimed as she walked up to Carisi and put him in a head lock and started to give him a nookie.

"Come on Jane" Carisi laughed out "two against one is hardly fare"

"well lucky for me Frankie doesn't really count for much then" Jane responded

"Alright you guys break it up before some real cops come and arrest you for disturbing the peace" Angela says as she walked into the impromptu mosh pit

"Come on Ma we are real cops" Frankie said in an almost whine

"And how are we disturbing the peace?" Jane added on

"Well you're disturbing my peace" the older Italian woman stated as she lightly smacked each one of them up side the head

Amanda watched the sequence of events with amusement. She couldn't help the pang of jealously that ran through her heart at the sight of her partner so at ease with his family, and how well they all get along. "Don't be too worried, this happens often when these three get together" a voice spoke softly to Amanda's right "I am Maura Isles by the way" the slim blonde doctor said as she reached her hand forward in a greeting

"I'm Amanda" the young detective answered back " and I would assume that like me you are also not related to the family"

Doctor Isles looked at her with amused surprise "yes, your right, but how did you come to that conclusion?"

"Well your the first person who I've met at this party that hasn't tried to hug or kiss me right off the bat" Amanda stated quickly

The doctor laughed at this remark "it almost sounds like your a detective as well, Amanda"

"She doesn't just sound like one, she is one" Carisi said as he entered their conversation. Proper introductions where then given all around.

Angela couldn't hold in her excitement any longer "oh so these are my new grand nieces" the Italian woman said as she reached for both baby girls "I wish my grandson could be here right now, but Tommy had to work in Delaware for a few weeks and his girl friend and Tommy Jr went with him"

"Wait Ma!" Jane interrupted "did you say two grand nieces? I thought Belle only had one daughter, Elle"

"Your right" Elizabeth answered for her older sister "This is Jesse" the woman said slightly raising the baby in her arms "she is Amanda's daughter". All eyes went to Amanda, and she didn't like the new found attention.

"Sonny" Jane looked at her cousin in disbelief "You got a woman pregnant and had a child without the family knowing until now!" The older detective looked at Amanda "especially one that looks like her?" Jane said again waving her hand at Amanda referencing the blonde's good looks "I am so sorry you ended up being stuck with him, if he steps out of line once don't be afraid to whack him around"

"Actually Jane, your wrong, Jesse isn't mine" Carisi said walking to stand next to Amanda

"She isn't" Frankie dead panned in a questioningly manner

"No" Amanda said speaking for herself "Dom is my partner at work, and well Jesse doesn't have anyone besides me to call as family so Elizabeth offered to become a sort of adopted grandmother" the blonde detective explained easily, she was getting used to it.

The Rizzoli family nodded their heads in understanding, also realizing the more subtle meaning to that statement. That Amanda also doesn't have a family to speak of. "Well that's a good enough explanation for me" Angela said as she took the child from her sister's arms "welcome to the family Jesse" the Italian woman sang as she kissed the baby on the cheek "and you too Amanda"

At this statement Amanda's cheeks began to turn pink. Seeing this Jane said softly "don't be too bashful, it happens more than you would think" she said as she jabbed her thumb towards Maura "She was practically adopted into our family years ago"

The blonde doctor laughed at the statement "its true, and no matter what you do from now on your going to be stuck with them"

"Hey, you make it sound like a bad thing" Jane said in a mock complaining voice

"I didn't say it was a bad thing" Maura said in a mater of factly tone "but it is the truth"

Amanda stood there with a soft smile on her face, she never in her life would have expected to be so welcomed into a family as she was being right now. For a brief second she taught this was the happiest moment of her life, save for the first time she held her baby girl.

 **A/N: I know its a little sappy at the end, but I just wanted to establish the connections they all have before I start kicking in the drama, and there will be drama trust me, the type where some characters will be put in mortal danger type. The next chapter will be finishing up the family reunion and the trip to Boston. Thanks for reading, tell me what you think :)**


	3. PTSD?

**Disclaimer: I do not own SVU or Rizzoli and Isles or their characters**

It did not take long for Amanda to become comfortable talking with the Rizzoli family, and Jesse was being her typical attention hog, which the blonde detective was secretly grateful for. Jest because she was holding her own in simple conversations doesn't mean she wanted to be the center of any discussions. It only took a few minutes until embarrassing childhood stories were being passed around like wild fire.

"And he had no idea we drew a blue unibrow and a red mustache on his face" Frankie told the story, much to the chagrin of Carisi. The whole group gathered found the story quiet hilarious.

"Ya, its funny now, but that was my first date" Carisi yelled smilingly as he tossed a clod of dirt at his cousins face

"Hey watch it" Frankie dodged "I actually care about how I look, unlike most people here" he finished giving a pointed looked at his sister Jane

"What's that supposed to mean, Frankie, I take great pride in how comfortable my cloths are" Jane responded flipping her hair in a mock conceited manner "besides if you cared so much, maybe you would have had a girlfriend right now"

"I hope you didn't come to the reunion in search for one" Belle poked lightheartedly

"Come on guys, let it up" Angela broke in "besides I think they're about to begin the family softball game, I hope you guys are ready to make up for last years failure"

"Family softball game, and you guys failed at it?" Amanda questioned "any reason?"

"Ya I can name one" Jane muttered as she turned to the blonde medical examiner

"Hey, I've been practicing" Maura quickly retorts "I bet I can get more goals than you this year"

"Runs, Maura, there called runs" Jane answered satirically

"Are you going to play Amanda" Frankie asked the blonde

"oh, no" she replied "I need to take care of Jesse, but I would love to watch"

"Ah nah" Carisi jumped in "your not getting out of playing this game, besides I know you were a track star in high school, and god knows we need every boost we can get"

"Don't worry honey" Elizabeth cut in "I will watch Jesse, go have fun, this is supposed to be a vacation for you too, right?"

After several minutes of begging, the blonde detective finally gave in to the peer pressure. As it turned out this year the teams were decided on a name drawl, using an old baseball hat. Sonny, Frankie, and Maura ended up being on one team, while Amanda, and Jane on the other. The teams seemed evenly matched at the start of the game with each team only gaining 3 runs in the first five innings. Sonny was pitching when Amanda came up to bat. She had already surprised the extended Carisi family by making several key plays early on in the game. Amanda's competitive nature taking over she refused to lose to Carisi, if only to save the car ride home from turning into one long brag about his ability to dominate in the recreational game. It was basses loaded and two outs, Amanda's team was down by 1 run. The pressure was on, and even though it was a friendly pick up game, the air was tense. "Come on Amanda, you can do this" Jane yelled from second base "just imagine your hitting Sonny with the bat"

"Jane that's not very appropriate" Maura scolded

"You're right Maura" Jane agreed "pretend the ball is Sonny's head" Jane yelled to home plate, as the blonde M.E rolled her eyes

Carisi ignored the noise around him and threw the ball as best he could down the center of home plate "strike" yelled the umpire, who was in fact Uncle Joey. Carisi caught the returned ball and smiled smugly at Amanda. The blonde seemed unfazed by the first pitch and stood defiantly waiting the the next. Carisi smiled at his partners demeanor as he threw the second pitch straight down the line, however, unlike before, the young detective took a swing and hit the ball dead on sending it flying out in center field well over the out fielders head. The base runners took no time in rounding the bases, as did the blonde detective. Just as she was heading home, the ball was being thrown to the catcher, Frankie. They both collided in a mess of dirt and dust. When it all settled Amanda was on top of home plate with Frankie laying on top of her, but the ball was on the ground two feet away from the pair "Safe" screamed uncle Joey "that's game". Jane and her team ran to help Amanda up as they all congratulated her.

"That was incredible, Amanda" Jane said as she helped the blonde pat the dust off of her "where did you learn to play like that?"

"Well had softball tournaments down with the Atlanta P.D, and the losing team had to do the others paper work for a month" the blonde detective smiled "that was plenty of motivation to become good at this game"

"Lunch time" a voice rang out over the crowd "first come first serve, any slow pokes better not complain"

"Come on Amanda" Carisi stated as he came up next his partner "we've better hurry or all the good food might be gone"

"Wow, its a real free for all isn't it?" the blonde responded seeing the long line forming around the buffet table "your family really takes its food seriously, huh"

"Oh ya, its survival of the fittest here" Carisi laughed

The pair waited in line and then went to go sit by Carisi's mom and sisters, who were then joined by Jane's family. "I'll take her now Elizabeth, so you can eat" Amanda stated as she approached the group, indicating her daughter

"Oh its no problem dear" Carisi's mom answered with a smile "We already ate while you all were playing softball, go ahead and eat"

Much to Amanda's surprise, the food was not only comprised on Italian food, while it was still a major part of the spread, there was hamburgers, ribs, even tacos and Chinese chicken salad, a true potluck picnic. The food was all delicious, and everyone ate their fill, however, some more then others. "Honey, are you feeling ok?" Angela asked Amanda as the family was sitting down enjoying their food

"Ya I am, why do you ask?" the blonde asked nervously

"Well you've hardly eaten anything dear" the Italian woman said waving her hand down at the blondes small but mostly uneaten plate

"No I am fine, I'm already practically full" the young detective answered

"Honey if you don't like the food its no problem we can get you something from around the corner" Angela responded "Frankie! Go get Amanda something from the food truck"

"Ah, Ma thats like a five minute walk, can't I wait until I'm done?" Frankie answered his mother pleadingly

"Francis Rizzoli Jr, don't you dare make a young woman wait to eat after you" Angela scolded

In defeat Frankie began to rise from his seat "What do ya want Amanda?"

"Nothing really" the blonde detective tried to explain

"Angela, don't make Frankie get her food" Elizabeth broke into the scene "Sonny, you shouldn't need to be asked to do this" the Italian woman chided at her son

"Wait" Amanda yelled "Ya'll ned to understand that I don't eat to much at one sitting" she tried to explain quickly "I eat several small meals a day, its been like that since high school"

"Well don't worry" Elizabeth answered as she placed her hands on her stomach "if you stay with this family long enough, you will learn to eat like a true Italian"

The rest of the meal went on uneventfully with more stories being told and passed embarrassments resurfacing. The group after finishing, stood to stand in the shade of a large tree. Amanda, holding her daughter, leaned her back against the tree trunk. "So Amanda, why don't you tell us a little about yourself" Angela asked, realizing that the young detective had yet to really open up about herself

"Well there's really nothing to talk about" Amanda tried to side step the questioned

"Oh come on, there is always something" Angela continued not aware of the woman's discomfort in the subject "Like where your from, you have a southern accent I think?"

"Ya I do have an accent, I was born and raised in Georgia, and worked for the Atlanta P.D for several years before I transferred to New York"

"Why did you transfer?" Frankie asked, curiosity getting the better of him "wasn't it hard to leave everything behind?"

"I just needed a fresh start" the blonde said while looking at her daughter "besides its not like I left to much behind anyway"

"Oh Angela, before I forget" Elizabeth interrupted her sisters questioning of the poor detective, sensing her discomfort "we have to make sure we are all set on the date for this years Thanks-Givings party, and whose bringing what"

"Thanks-Giving? It's barely Spring, isn't it a bit early to plan the party" Amanda questioned loudly, happy to change focus from herself

"No dear, its never to early to plan a get together with these flakes" Elizabeth said jokingly

"Our schedules get pretty hectic around the holidays, so we have to plan ahead or else everything would blow up in our faces" Jane added "or else I am afraid the next homicide I'll be called to would be one committed by my mother"

"Only if its not your body they find" Angela said as she joined in on the joke

"And its a good thing were doing this now because your here" Elizabeth said looking at the young blonde detective "I can't trust my son completely, don't think I don't know about you only asking Amanda about this family reunion a day before we left, when I gave you plenty on time to tell her" she yelled hitting her son upside the head

"Sorry Ma, I forgot" Carisi whimpered rubbing the back of his head

"The party will be the Saturday before Thanks-Giving so set your calendar" Belle as she rocked Elle to sleep "and don't worry it won't be on as large a scale as this, just the Carisi and Rizzoli families"

At that moment Jesse decided to begin crying. Amanda tried to shh her baby girl so as to not awake her sleeping 'cousin'. "Shh Jesse, its ok" the young mother whispered as she checked her daughters diaper, Jesse hated to be dirty. "It looks like she pooped her pants, I'll have to change her in the car" the blonde announced to the group

"No, I got it" Carisi said as he jumped up to take the cranky child from her mom "besides, I would hate to get yelled at for not passing on all the information again"

"Frankie, why don't you help Sonny, so when Tommy Jr comes over again you'll have no excuses for not changing his diaper" Angela said sending Frankie to follow his cousin to the car parked a good a few minutes away from the large reunion, leaving Amanda alone with the two elder Italian women, Carisi's three sisters, Jane, and Maura.

"Ok Amanda, what do you want to bring" Elizabeth asked

"I don't know" the blonde answered truthfully "I've never been much of a cook"

"Well its never to late to try" Jane answered, dodging a swing from her mother

"Oh, you have no right to speak, miss I burn everything I cook"

"Well I only said try" Jane shrugged

"Don't worry, in my experience cooking can be very relaxing" Maura said trying not to laugh at her long time friend's attempt to excuse her terrible cooking skills

"Well since its your first year, you can just bring the bread rolls and a punkin pie" Elizabeth stated matter of factly

"Be warned" Gina spoke "we switch off every year on who is bringing the turkey, this year is me, so its going to be delicious, but eventually it'll be your turn" she finished with a confident grin on her face

"Wow I don't know about that" Amanda said sheepishly rubbing the back of her neck

"It just takes practice" Angela spoke as she approached the blonde from her right side, out of the young detectives line of sight "besides, your going to learn sooner or later that we really don't take no for an answer" the older woman finished as she placed a hand on the young blonde's shoulder.

In an instant the atmosphere of the group became tense as Amanda immediately flinched and tried to back away from the older woman, eyes wide in fear. Fear which only increased as the blonde's back came upon the tree she was leaning on for support earlier, feeling trapped Amanda brought up her right hand to defend her face begging an invisible attacker to 'stop'. "Please don't" the blonde said still shaking refusing to looks at anyone or even open her eyes for that matter, for in her mind all she could see was her old deputy chief cornering her in one of his many attacks.

"Amanda" Jane said calmly, recognizing that the women before them was having some sort of panic attack. Jane managed to grab ahold of Amanda's hands and get the young detective to look at her. With wide eyes Amanda began to realize where she was and quickly fought to get out of the older detective's grasp "Amanda, its alright, we're here for you if you need anything"

"Please let go, Jane, I am ok" Amanda responded "proud of herself that she was able to keep her voice level, but the group did not fail to notice the shaky breaths she was taking

"Do you need to sit down, you look like your going to faint" Maura said noticing how pale the blonde had become "I am a doctor, remind you, I can help"

"No, its just low blood pressure, makes me dizzy some times "Amanda tried to give an excuse, fooling no one "I just ned to find my daughter" and with that she walk away from the group of worrying woman towards the cars where she knew her daughter would be.

"What the hell was that?" Jane questioned, shocked about what had just transpired

"If I didn't know any better, I would say that was some sort of PTSD reaction" Maura answered, trying to give some sort of medical explanation "for a few moments it seemed that she was reliving some sort of past trauma"

"What trauma, and what set her off" Teresa said worried for the woman her brother seemed to care deeply for

"I don't know about the trauma, but it seemed to have started when Ma put her hand on her and said something about not excepting 'no' as an answer" Jane said recalling the incident that happened a few moments ago

"I didn't mean to hurt her" Angela said worriedly "do you think she's alright?"

"She's going to be with Sonny" Elizabeth answered "He'll take care of her" she sighed "Sonny told me she had a rough past, I guess it was worse than I had expected"

* * *

The rest of the party became a blur for Amanda. She didn't tell Carisi what exactly happened but her could tell something had upset her. "Amanda, I am sorry for what ever my family did" he began "please tell me what happened so I can make sure they never do it again"

"No, it wasn't anything they did, Dom" She breathed not wanting to talk about it but knowing Carisi would not stop asking until he got an answer "I just had a flash back ok". It took a few seconds for Carisi to understand what she was talking about, but when recognition donned on his face the blonde detective quickly added "I really don't want to talk about it, please". Noticing the silent plea he relented and spoke nothing more on the subject.

The next day Amanda, Carisi, and Jesse met up with the Rizzolies and the rest of Carisi's nuclear family for breakfast before the group hit the road back to New York. No one brought up Amanda's earlier break down, although it was in the back of their minds. A fact that made the blonde feel slightly uncomfortable.

When breakfast was all done and everyone was saying good bye, Angela made her way to the young blonde detective "Amanda, I just wanted to say how sorry I am for hurting you yesterday"

"You didn't do anything wrong" the blonde waved off the apology "besides, I am the one who made a scene yesterday and almost ruined the party for all ya'll"

"Lets just call it a draw then" Angela said "and I just want to make sure you know that were family now and anything you need, we'll always be there. Like I always say, sometimes water can be as think as blood"

"Ma, you've never said that before in your life" Jane said matter of factly with her hands on her hips giving her mother a smug look for catching in a lie

"Well I am saying it now" the older Italian Woman stated back practically sticking her tongue out at her daughter

"What does that even mean, water can be as thick as blood" Frankie jokingly asked his mother "i sure as hell would not want to drink that"

"Oh, shut up you two" Angela scolded her children "you know what I mean right Amanda?"

"Ya I do" she responded "and I think its a great saying"

The ride home was much less uneventful then the trip up there, and with Amanda driving the trio made record time getting back home. Most of the ride her two other passengers were passed out, but she didn't mind for it gave the blonde some time to think. To think about her past, but mostly just hope for a better future.

 **A/N: Well here is the latest installment of this story, I hope you guys like it. Next chapter we will be back at SVU after retuning from the trip to Boston, unfortunately some trouble will also follow them back as well.**


	4. Nightmare's Beginning

Amanda walked down the shady park path with her daughter happily giggling in her stroller. Frannie, although without a leash, walked calmly next to them, only every once in a while darting ahead to sniff a bush or tree and mark her perceived territory, but then quickly returning to her masters side.

The young blonde detective smiled to herself, it felt as if for the first time in years she was happy with the life she had. She had a beautiful daughter, a great job with terrific coworkers, a place to live and an adopted family that seemed to really care for her and Jesse. Most importantly, Amanda finally felt safe. Safe from the horrors she dealt with back in Atlanta, safe to trust her coworkers and friends, and safe from fearing an unwanted attack from some male colleague or shadowy figure.

Amanda took in a deep breath of fresh air, or as fresh of air one can get in the middle of New York City. Central Park was big. From within its boundaries, one could easily lose track of the chaotic world around them, an activity the young detective was currently doing. She would look periodically from her surroundings to her happy daughter and then to her faithful canine, enjoying being alone without actually being by herself.

A short aggressive growl shocked her out of her peaceful mood "what is it girl?" Amanda asked her dog as she came to a stop "you found a squirrel or somethin" the blonde finished trying to push down the chill that was crawling up her spine. Before Amanda could think or act Frannie bolted in to the underbrush leaving her line of sight "Frannie!" she yelled trying to call her dog back. A few moments later she heard a loud whimper, her dog, her oldest friend was hurt and in trouble. Without thinking the blonde stepped off the path to help her baby girl, but stopped suddenly knowing she could not leave her real baby girl on the path by herself. She turned around to grab Jesse but was terrified by what she saw, or didn't see to be precise. Her daughter's stroller was gone "Jesse!" she yelled running to the spot where the child once was "Jesse!" she began to scream in panic as tears streamed down her face out of control. "Give her back you bastard" She yelled at the invisible attacker that must be behind all this.

As Amanda frantically looked around for any sight of her daughter, she began to notice how dark it had become. The soft light of the evening was replaced with the cold blackness that was the night. Shadows danced in the cover of the trees that lay just beyond the blonde's vision. Moments before Amanda was about to bolt into the bitter void, ignoring her terrified state, to find Jesse, disregarding every instinct the detective had, strong hands grabbed her from behind locking her in a deadly grip she could not escape.

"Let me go!" she screamed, struggling against all hope to be free of this unseen attacker

"Now why would I do that darlin, I finally have you exactly where I want you" an unfamiliar deep voice whispered in her ear.

"Who are you?" the scared detective stuttered out still fighting against his hold on her "Where is my daughter? What do you want?" She asked becoming louder and more aggressive with every word she spoke, not truly caring for an answer but simply trying to find a weak point to take down this enemy.

"I am the man you and your team have been looking for, aren't I" he asked mockingly as if he himself was unaware of the answer "the villain who has been raping all those lovely blonde girls" he whispers in her ear just before he placed rough kisses down her neck "but don't worry about your daughter, she's too young for my taste, and you know what I want" he finished, biting down on the spot he had just kissed "you!"

Amanda screamed out in pain as he broke skin with his teeth. His hands grabbed at her roughly as he dragged her into the underbrush, off the open path they had been standing on "don't worry hun" the man said scornfully "we're going to have a great time". Amanda froze at his statement, knowing full well what he had planned for her, in a desperate last hope she screamed out "HELP ME! ANYONE PLEASE HELP ME!" she pleaded the empty space around her as she was pushed hard on the ground "FIN, LIV, DOM! PLEASE" she continued to scream even after her attacker hit her in the face "DON'T LET HIM DO THIS! DOM PLEASE HELP" she sobbed out.

Amanda quickly bolted up from her bed, covered in sweat and tears, her breath was heavy and burdened while her heart pounded so fast she feared it would leap right out of her chest. A cold sensation jolted her from her semi-conscious state, finally pulling her completely from her horrible nightmare.

"Hey girl" Amanda breathlessly whispered, barely finding the strength to reach for her dog. Frannie nuzzled her head under the blonde's hand in an attempt to become closer with the traumatized detective. At this movement, Amanda broke down completely, and grabbed on to her most trusted friend and held on as if she was the only tether keeping her rooted to the ground.

After a few minutes of trying to calm herself down, Amanda slowly got out of bed and quietly walked to her daughter's room. She could no longer fight down her need to reassure herself that her baby girl was still safe and sound in her crib. When she was satisfied about Jesse's safety she walked to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

She shakily drank as she cursed herself "dam, that's the third time this week" she exclaimed to no one in particular. The current serial rapist case the squad was working on had been hard on the whole team, but especially her, and the worst part was she didn't even know why. The victims had been blonde women in their thirties and forties, but they came from all walks of life. The perp seemed to enjoy tormenting his victims and would keep them alive for at least a week raping and torturing them along the way. When he was finally finished with them he would strangle them with what appeared to be copper wire. The serial rapist was no amateur though; he would dispose of the body in nothing but their birthday suits, and pose them in a sleeping beauty type pose. He was skilled in the clean up, for no DNA was ever present on the body. It was as though the victims were completely hosed down prior to being discarded.

Ever since this case landed on the steps of SVU, she has been stressed. For days now, Amanda had been feeling like she was being watched; the blonde simply chalked her fears up to the strain of being a single mother with an infant child, while working one of the most difficult jobs in the city. The constant reminder that there are people in this world that want to hurt others and take everything they can just for their own self satisfying reasons.

Amanda calmly ran her hand through her hair, arguing with herself on what her next action should be. She paced her apartment deciding if she should call Dominick or not. The blonde certainly did not want to be alone at that moment, but she also didn't want to be any more of a burden to Carisi. She knew he would not hesitate to rush over and chase away any shadowy demons that might linger within the apartment, but that would also mean revealing her nightmare and her feelings of being watched. That was something the blonde absolutely did not want to do, she couldn't stand the thought of being weak in front of others, even if it was one of the people she most trusted.

The young detective steeled her resolve to handle this herself. She quickly double checked all the locks and windows in her apartment, and ensured her gun was in reach. She looked at her alarm clock that reminded her she still had 3 hours before she needed to get ready for work. Amanda laid in bed desperately trying to find the sleep her body needed, but unable to get any sort of rest.

* * *

"Wow you look terrible" Fin leveled at his partner as she walked into the precinct the next morning

"While thank you, Fin" she gave him a smile that said 'I want to kill you'. "You look beautiful yourself"

"I didn't mean any disrespect Manda" Fin started, as he stood from his desk in order to talk to his partner at eye level "I just notice that the past few days you've seemed on edge and exhausted"

"Thanks for the concern Fin" Amanda said waving off the hand he was about to place on her shoulder "I've just been having trouble sleeping is all" as she said this Fin's face grew even more concerned "don't be worried, I do have an infant who so happens to be teething" she said lightly trying to ease her partner concerns "and it seems to be painful for all parties involved" Amanda finished with a chuckle.

"Mornin Rollins" Carisi happily said as he walked into the squad room "did I miss anything" he questioned as he saw his two coworkers huddled together in the center of the room

"Nothing really" Amanda began "just that Fin thinks he wants to babysit Jesse for me while she's teething, so I can get a better sleep at night"

"Come on boo" Fin quickly responded "I didn't mean any harm"

"Ooh, Jesse's teething is getting bad huh" Carisi interrupted before Amanda could answer Fin "I remember when Elle went through that faze, don't worry once the first couple come through it should get easier"

"Here's to hoping" Amanda said as she crossed her fingers. The blonde felt slightly guilty using her daughter as an excuse to hide the fact she couldn't sleep due to nightmares "Well I'm going to grab a cup of coffee before we're called to do any real work" and with that the blonde walked out of the room and into the break room.

"Good it seems like everyone's here" Benson said as she walked into the squad room and stood next to the two male detectives "we have a lot to do so get ready to move out when needed, and remember that a detective from Boston is coming in today to help with the pattern 15 rapist"

"Great just what we need, some detective from out of state to tell us what we're missing" Fin complained as Benson walked into her office to put her things down only to emerge soon after.

"Now Fin, don't be like that" Benson began "apparently this detective was lead when the pattern 15 rapist struck in Boston"

"Well then they must not be that good then if he's still on the loose" Fin interjected again

"Fin" the lieutenant warned

"Come on Liv" Carisi spoke up "Boston doesn't even have an SVU squad, they let homicide handle it, and these kinds of cases are different beasts" he said as he leaned against his desk "I'm just concerned that this detective won't be of much help"

"Wow I love the confidence that's being put on me here" a female voice cut in from across the squad room. The three SVU detectives turned around to face a tall thin woman with long hair pulled back into a neat pony tail. Carisi stood still in his tracks as the dark haired woman approached him, his mouth slightly open in surprise. When she came face to face with the Italian detective she raised her hand and hit him upside the head "and, Sonny, didn't Aunt Elle ever teach you not to judge a person before you've met" she finished with her hands on her hips.

Carisi shook his head to dispel his disbelief "Jane?" he said as he hugged her "I can't believe it's you, why didn't you tell me you were coming to the city?"

"Well I didn't know this was your precinct, and this case is pretty big, I was hoping to see you and everyone once it was solved" Jane explained

"Um am I missing something or does Carisi have a history with the detective from Boston?" Fin said as he passed a confused look on to Benson "and did you just call him Sonny?"

"Oh hey guys, this is my cousin, Jane Rizzoli" Carisi hurriedly explains "and ya most people actually call me Sonny"

"It's nice to meet you detective Rizzoli" Benson said as she reached out a hand to the new detective

"It's my pleasure" Jane said as she returned the hand shake "I'm glad I can finally meet the team that was able to tolerate Sonny, although I wish it were on better circumstances" she finished as she looked around the squad room "hey where's Amanda?" Jane asked Sonny.

Both Benson and Fin were surprised that the new detective, Carisi's cousin, would know about Amanda; to their knowledge the two had never met. At that moment the blonde detective walked into the room and was surprised at seeing Jane.

"Jane, what are you doing here?" Amanda asked as she entered the room holding a cup of coffee in her hand

The tall detective wasted no time in walking over to the blonde and giving her a hug hello, much as she did to Carisi, saves for the hitting "I'm here to help with the pattern 15 case"

"Not to be rude or anything" Fin interrupted "but Manda, how do you know Carisi's cousin from Boston?"

"We met at the family reunion in Boston two months ago" Jane answered for her, not knowing that the two never told their squad "she even brought Jesse with her, oh speaking of her ma gave me some matching outfits for Elle and Jesse to wear and she will kill us if she doesn't get some pictures of the two girls together soon"

"Wow I never knew you two were that close" Benson stated giving a questioning glance between her two detectives.

"Ya, well my ma practically adopted Jesse as a granddaughter" Carisi explained quickly "so it was expected that they come as well"

"And Amanda fit in just fine" Jane said as she put a hand on the blondes shoulder "she even helped my team wipe the floor with Sonny" she stated with a beaming smile

"Oh ya guys you should've seen Amanda" Carisi said excitedly "I've never seen anyone handle my balls like that before, it was like she had complete control over them and in the final inning she knocked them out" he finished not realizing the possible double meaning behind his words "it's not something I've experienced before"

"Oh Sonny" Jane said shaking her head at her cousins poor choice of words, as Amanda's face turned slightly red, while she shyly rubbed her temple, knowing how the other occupants of the room would miss interpret his words.

"Well it seems like you had a good time Rollins" Benson said with an awkward smile not sure how to interpret that story.

Fin slowly made his way to Carisi's side and whispered in his ear "Are you banging my partner?" he asked harshly

Shocked Carisi stumbled "What? No"

"Well if you are, and you hurt her" Fin grabbed his shoulder and squeezed "you know what will happen"

"Fin, it's nothing like that" Carisi tried to reason

"Fin, leave him alone" Amanda spoke up realizing the tension that formed in the room

"So Jane, what lame motel did the Boston PD place you in" Sonny tried to dissipate the awkward atmosphere in the room by changing the subject

"Well actually Maura's in town for an M.E conference" Jane said "and you know her, the woman won't stay in anything less than a four star hotel, so we're splitting the room"

"And by splitting you mean your mooching off her" Amanda said giving the Boston Detective a mischievous smile

"Well, tomato tomahto" Jane answered with a shrug

"It's nice to see that we can all get along" Benson interrupted the friendly exchange "but its high time we catch the bastard that has brought us all together in the first place" and with that the detectives quickly began work to consolidate their information in order to catch the perp before he can strike again.

 **A/N: so here's another chapter, I hope you guys liked it. Please tell me what you think. I hope the nightmare scene wasn't too confusing.**


	5. The Talk

**A/N: I am so sorry for the delay in updates, my school started up again and my instructors really like to have us hit the ground running.**

"Marry Winters, Bethany Jones, Isabella Lozano, Courtney Russo, and Patty Long" Jane said as she placed a picture of each woman on the evidence board "these are the five victims our pattern 15 serial killer targeted when he was in Boston"

The squad wasted no time once introductions were made after detective Jane Rizzoli arrived from Boston. Everyone was eager to get this sick bastard of the streets. Jane had brought with her most of the evidence files from her investigation, including the pictures of the victims after the killer was through with them. They all went through some form of torture or another; it seemed like the perpetrator changed methods with every kill. The first did not have a scratch on her, save for some defensive wounds and bruising from restraints around her arms and legs. It appears as if she was water boarded, a type of torture that simulated drowning. The second victim was the opposite; she had whip lashes all throughout her skin. The third and fourth were abducted at the same time and both appeared to have been branded with some sort of hot metal pipe. The last Bostom Victim was repatedly shocked with electricity. All five women, however, were sexually assaulted and strangled to death with a copper wire.

"This guy is all over the place" Fin said as he laid the file down in front of him on top of his cup of coffee, Benson frowned at him and he quickly laid it on the table instead. She hated when her oldest detective was careless with his paper work, even though she knew he meant no harm. Fin stood from the table the group was sitting at and walked to the evidence board "these victims all have nothing in common, except that their all blonde and in their thirties and forties. They all were tortured different ways, and taken in sporadic time frames". There was only a three week gap from his first victim to his next, but then a seven month hiatus from the third and fourth to his fith. It then took him two months to appear in New York. "He seems intelligent for being able to leave virtually no evidence of his crimes and yet he also seems to act on impulse taking the women the first chance he gets regardless of the time of day". Fin was referencing the fact that his second victim from Boston and the recent one from New York were both taken in broad day light with people around. Witnesses would later identify stolen vehicles, which were stolen only after the women were taken, fleeing the scene.

"Not to mention he always taser his victims in the neck or back" Amanda cut in, reading the file in her hands one last time she continues "this could indicate he lacks self confidence in bringing down these women with brute strength, but at the same time his willingness to grab them at any time contradicts that. Also, all of the women, besides Courtney, told there family or friends that they felt as if they were being stocked in the days before their abduction. That makes me assume that Courtney was a spur of the moment victim, and Isabella was the true target all along. The stocking shows some sort of planning but with taking Courtney he shows very weak impulse control" The blonde shook her head in confusion "it's so hard to get a peg on this man"

"Are we sure it's even a man" Carisi cut in "I mean, there has been no DNA found on any of the crime scenes or victims, or could there be multiple perps?" The occupants in the room looked at each other and sighed, the truth was they had very little to go on and they knew it. They only feared that it wouldn't be too much longer before this sick-o would strike again.

"Alright guys, let's take a ten" Benson breaks in as she is rubbed the tiredness from her eyes with her thumb and index finger "right now we're just talking ourselves in circles, gab fresh cup of coffee, a snack or run in place for all I care, but we need to come back to this with fresh minds" with that the lieutenant left the table and headed for her office. Carisi said he'd grab everyone a cup to drink, leaving Fin, Jane and Amanda alone in the room.

The trio stood to stretch, Amanda began to pace back and forth while raising her arms above her head and grabbing at her elbows in order to ease the stress from her shoulders, Fin simply cracked his neck and Jane her fingers. The group didn't say anything and the air in the room felt heavy. "I always hate cases like these" Fin finally broke through the silence "how can someone take pleasure in the pain of others, those women didn't have to die like that"

"There's never really an answer to why people do the things they do, especially when it's like this" Amanda said as she walked in front of the evidence board again to look at the pictures of the victims after they had been killed and placed a hand over them, while looking back at the rooms other two occupants "unfortunately some people even make a living doing stuff like this" the blonde finished thinking about murder for hire.

"Ya, my sergeant was a detective in Boston when the crime families had a lot of power in the city" Jane cut in, remembering the many gruesome stories her old partner loved to tell her, especially when she was in the middle of eating, just trying to make her lose her appetite "he always said he hated coming across the victims of a mafia hit man, they knew how to do a job efficiently, but when the time comes they also knew how to send a message to their enemies in the painful death of their victims" as the dark haired detective said this a thought occurred to her. She remembered her sergeant suggesting that the perpetrator could have connections to the mob, the cause of death and abduction matched the methods used by an unknown but active hit man connected to an Irish mafia family.

"Alright I got everyone's hot cup of joe right here" Carisi said as he entered the room handing each person a steaming cup of coffee "Jane what's with that look?" Carisi questioned his cousin as he handed her a cup, "you look like you have to use the restroom"

At his comment Jane hit Sonny upside the head at the amusement of Amanda and Fin, "No you idiot, I just realized something about our case" Jane explained

"So your thinking face always makes you look like that?" Carisi questioned again but this time it was Amanda who knocked Sonny around "ok, ok I'll be serious now" he complained as her rubbed the spot on his shoulder the blonde just hit

"What is it, Jane" Benson asked as she joined the group after hearing the commotion in the squad room.

"Our killer seems to be a professional at killing and disposing of the body without leaving any evidence" the dark haired detective began "he also has a strange decompression time in between each attack that doesn't make sense, unless there are more victims of his that we just don't know about"

"What are you saying" Benson asked "that we haven't found all of the bodies, but remember he leaves them in very open park areas to be found, it's very unlikely any that are out there would have yet to be found" she continued questioningly

"Unless his kills in between our vics were never meant to be found, by the public or the police" Jane cut in again

"Why would he want only some of his vics to be found" Carisi asked "it seemed like he was proud of his job and wanted others to know by the way he displayed them in such open areas"

"Because the other's are his job" Amanda realized as she looked at the Boston detective as she nodded in confirmation "your saying that our killer may be a mafia hit man"

"Yes" Jane answered happily, knowing that someone was able to follow her train of thought "If our guy is a professional killer, it makes sense how he is capable of getting rid of evidence. Maybe he's tired of his work being hidden and just wanted to express himself to the public in something he both enjoys and is good at"

"You make it sound like he's an artist" Sonny stated a little disgusted

"Hey, everyone has their thing, even serial rapists" Fin replied

"Alright, I follow where you're going with this, but do we have any reason to suspect this besides your hunch" Benson asked trying to be the voice of reason before they may get side tracked into a wild goose chase

"Actually ya we do" Jane responded quickly "the methods of death and abduction match an unknown mob hit man for an Irish family from Boston, even some of the torture methods used are known to be used by him"

"Ok but if he's unknown, we're still at square one in trying to find him" Amanda leveled hoping that their perp will not remain an intangible ghost

"No, just because the hit man himself could be unknown there is a possibility that he is still a known associate of the family" Fin answered as he looked to the other occupants in the room "All we need to do is see if any associates of that family are here in New York and check if they were also in Boston at the times of the previous murders"

"Alright then Fin and Jane I want you two to coordinate with the organized crime division and find out if anyone matches our suspect" Benson ordered looking at the two aforementioned detectives, then she turned to her remaining two detectives "Amanda and Carisi I want you two to talk to our vics family again see if you can get any information about who may have been stocking her, we're going to follow all leads on this case, don't get to absorbed with just one" and with that Benson ordered everyone out into the field

* * *

Three days passed since the detective from Boston arrived to help the SVU solve the pattern 15 serial rapist/ killer case, and in those three days not much progress was made. Several leads had come to a dead end and the team was still waiting on their most promising one, the possible connection to the mob. The organized crime unit was swamped with work and even in a rush they haven't been able to confirm the presence of an associated member of the Irish crime family, the O'Malleys, in both Boston and New York at the time of the crimes. The day had just started and already the weariness and exhaustion was evident on the detectives faces "where's my coffee, I need a fix" Fin mumbled as he walked to his desk, after a bathroom break

"Careful with your language Fin, or else IAB might try and pin some drug abuse on you" Carisi said in an attempted humor, always trying to lighten the mood

"Let the bastards try" Fin shot back "at this point a new opponent almost seems welcome" he finished, making a silent deal that if they could catch this sick bastard, he would almost be willing battle IAB in exchange.

"Better take that back" Amanda said interrupting their conversation "it's never a good idea to trade one demon for another"

"The devil you know Manda" Fin said to his partner while drinking from his cup of coffee, the simple smell helping him wake up a bit more

"Ya, well I wish I didn't know either of them" the blonde detective said as she stood from her desk and headed for the restroom to splash her face with cold water. The nightmares had not stopped and her coworkers were starting to become a bit concerned with the lack of the blondes usual level of energy.

It only took a few moments for Amanda to enter the restroom and begin to splash her face; she leaned over the sink, resting on her forearms, with her head hanging down. The blonde detective looked down the drain of the old precinct sink, ignoring her surroundings and becoming lost in thought. Her mind returned to her nightmares, the feeling of being watched and the desire to just run and hide from it all. Amanda wanted to tell her coworkers about her paranoia, for them to tell her it was all in her head, but she couldn't reach for help because she knew they would treat her differently. They would see her in the position of a victim who has never fully healed from her attack, a woman who needs help, to be protected, to see a shrink. 'No' she thought to herself, 'I don't want to see a shrink and I don't want to be coddled'. Amanda shook her head in an attempt to clear the thoughts from her mind "get over it, Amanda, don't be a burden" she said aloud to herself.

"It's ok to be a burden sometimes" the blonde detective jumped in surprise as she heard the unexpected voice come from behind her "no one can be strong one hundred percent of the time, and if they say otherwise their lying" Jane said softly feeling bad that she startled the young detective. She had followed Amanda in the restroom in part because she herself needed to use the facilities and because she was concerned for the blonde

"I'm fine" Amanda quickly muttered out as she tried to step past the tall detective, but the older woman would not budge

"You're obviously not fine" Jane began "and I don't think you have been… truly have been, for a while now. I know from personal experience that cases like these can bring up unwanted memories, especially if we haven't dealt with them properly"

At this comment Amanda began to become angry, but tried to contain it "you don't know anything about me" she said as she walked to stand right in front of the Boston detective "I don't have any memories I need to deal with, and right now my only problem is being ambushed in the bathroom by a woman who doesn't know a single thing about me"

Jane took a deep breath; she understood the defensive behavior emanating from the other woman. She understood it was the only way to try and keep her world together "I recognize the signs of PTSD Amanda" Jane said softly "remember in the park when my mom touched you and you slipped into a flashback" she continued as a look of recognition flashed across Amanda's face as she recalled the event "you begged her not to hurt you, or more like you begged the person who hurt you in the past not to hurt you again"

"I don't have PTSD, okay" Amanda said sternly but without the anger this time "and I can't expect you to understand the way I feel right now, so let's just head back out there and forget about this little conversation and focus on finding a killer" the young detective was trying her hardest to end the conversation and continue on her day without trying to bring up her past assault.

"I do understand Amanda" Jane said strongly looking straight in to her eyes, with nothing but sincerity and understanding "I've been there too" this response took Amanda by surprise, recognizing this Jane continued "I had PTSD at one point" she swallowed "… I was attacked by a deranged serial killer once, he was able to capture me and nail my hands down" at this Jane raised her hands to the blonde to show her the scars "he would have raped and killed me too if my partner hadn't found us in time" she finished with a slightly shaky voice

"I don't know what to say" Amanda paused trying to process the information given to her "I'm sorry"

Jane nodded her head and shifted her weight to only her right leg as she grabbed the back of her neck as if to rub away the stress in the room "So I know what it's like to have a difficult case and have flashbacks, I know what happens when you don't talk about your problems and keep them buried inside" Jane then leaned back on the counter and rested her hands on the top of the sink "I may not know what you've been through, but I know it was something big for someone as strong as you to be affected in this way, but just know that you're not alone and no one would think differently of you if you ask for help"

The pair just stood in the room for a few moments, both just trying to gain insight into the other occupant of the room. Amanda took a deep breath questioning if she could truly trust what the other woman was saying, she closed her eyes and decided to take the plunge "It was nothing as severe as what you went through" she began "It happened back in Atlanta six years ago, right before I transferred to New York, actually it was the reason I transferred to New York" she shook her head slightly at the memory "long story short, my deputy chief took advantage of a bad situation I put myself in… my sister was in trouble he said he would help if I slept with him, and at first I had agreed" she paused again out of embarrassment, she could see the pity forming in the eyes of the other woman "he became too rough and I changed my mind but he wouldn't stop. I just gave up" Amanda looked down at her feet and then back into Jane's eyes "so you see, what happened to me was no big deal, not compared to what we're dealing with now, or what you went through"

"Amanda that is a big deal, someone you should have been able to trust took advantage of you" Jane said as she quickly took the younger detective in a hug, at first the blonde had struggled against it but after a few moments relaxed and let it happen "don't ever think your pain is less than others or not important, it matters, okay. It's alright to feel scared, angry, lonely, but it's not alright to think less of yourself or your pain, it's just as real as mine or anyone else's" the pair finally pulled away from the hug

"I know that deep down, but sometimes it's just hard to remember it when life gets a little hectic"

"You're just like me aren't you" Jane smiled softly and shook her head "stubborn and bullheaded to a fault. After Hoyt attacked me I held it in for a while, and for a while I did fine. Then I couldn't hold it in as well and it started to affect my work and family life. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and saw a shrink, off the book of course" she chuckled to herself "and boy did it help, we only met a few times… I even met him in the park to make it seem like a coffee date and not some therapy session. What I am trying to say is talking it out really does help, even when you don't think it would. Remember this is coming from a longtime subscriber to the hold it in method, so you can trust my opinion on this"

"Well I can't promise I'll see a shrink or something" Amanda began "but I will at least try and not hold so much in anymore, but if I try it your way and it doesn't help, can I come to Boston to kick your ass" the blonde tried jokingly

"It'll help trust me, and you can kick Sonny and Frankie's ass as well for good measure" they both laughed at this "seriously though, Sonny's may talk too much sometimes but he's a good listener"

"I know he is" the blonde smiled "actually he's been a god send ever since I had Jesse, but I don't want to be a burden anymore"

"You won't be a burden, he loves to help" Jane interrupted "in fact the men in our family love to feel useful, besides isn't helping each other out what families are for" she finished, reminding Amanda that the large Italian family had graciously excepted her in without hesitation "and I'm all ears to if you need me"

Amanda simply nodded and smiled, she was moved at how caring her new adopted family could be. "Thanks" she said sincerely "but um… we should probably get back to the others before they get suspicious of us in here"

"That's alright, if they ask just tell them I fell in the toilet and you had to come fish me out" Jane said with a loud laugh as the two exited the restroom

"There you two are" the duo had barely entered the room when Benson had called them over "there has been a development in the case, the organized crime unit has found someone that matches our guys MO, and he happened to be in both cities at the time of the incidents"

"That's great" Jane said excitedly "Who's our guy?"

"An enforcer for the O'Malley family, Ian Rurik" Benson stated "we are gathering information on his latest ware bouts, but unfortunately he knows how to cover his tracks, the only reason we know he's in town was because of a CI's tip. But at the same time no location can be given"

"What's our next move then" Amanda asked

"Right now we're going to hit the streets and do some leg work" Benson explained "but our ME found some interesting particles on the last victim, they were found in the lung and she hoped to get the opinion of Dr. Isles" she said as she looked over to Jane "do you think you could ask her to come and take a look"

"I can ask and she'll do it for sure, but I know she'll complain that she's missing some interesting lecture about the importance of weighing the organs in a certain order or something" Jane said jokingly as she sent the message to her best friend

"Thanks; tell her I owe her a gift then" Benson answered

"I would be careful about that, Maura has expensive taste" Jane said as she got a response from the doctor "she said she would love to see the workings of the New York's Medical Examiner's office"

"Great" Benson said looking pleased "Rollins Barba needs you to stop by his office and review your testimony for the Carson case, when you're finished can you swing by and pick up Dr Isles from the convention" the lieutenant said in an order and not a question

"Sure thing boss" Amanda said in a more agreeable tone than she would have liked, the blonde hated the idea that she would have to spend the day at the court house while the others still worked on finding their suspect.

* * *

The courthouse situation didn't take as long as she had fear, in less than an hour Amanda was already on her way to pick up Maura from the ME convention. The arrival at the convention turned the blonde's mood sour, these type of events always reminded her why she hated driving in New York, there was absolutely no parking anywhere near the convention center. The blonde had to settle with parking over five blocks away and she just hoped that the good doctor decided to wear some sensible shoes today.

"Amanda, over here" Maura said as she spotted the detective first "I didn't think you'd be here so fast, I was just about to listen in on a riveting lecture about the use of dung beetles to determine the time of death in victims that are found manure piles" the chief ME said as if she was disappointed in missing the opportunity to learn such techniques

"Well this case calls for urgency" Amanda apologized as she tried to figure out how useful that lecture would have actually been "and unfortunately I had to park several blocks away, I hope your ok with walking a bit"

"That's no problem" the doctor quickly answered "and I guess I could always learn the information from Dr. Iscars published works"

The pair walked down the busy New York City streets with idle conversation. Amanda thought it necessary to bring the Boston ME up to speed with the new developments in the case as they turned down a narrow alleyway as a short cut to the car. "So the Irish mob could be involved" Maura said as she crinkled her nose "oh how I wish I never had to deal with them again" before Amanda could ask what the doctor meant she stopped in her tracts and quickly turned around thinking she heard something behind them "what is it" Maura as concerned

"I don't know, I thought I felt someone behind us" Amanda said evenly trying to stop the fear from coming through her voice "let's just hurry to the car okay" Maura nodded nervously and followed closely as the blonde picked up the pace a little. Amanda's heart dropped as she heard the sound of a taser and a body dropping to the floor. She spun around quickly already in the process of drawing her fire arm when she felt the shock of electricity flow through her body, and her world began to turn dark.

"Two for the price of one, oh how I love these deals"

 **A/N: I am so sorry for the late delay in updating but school has just began again and my instructors love to have us hit the ground running, so just a heads up that updates may slow down a bit, but I promise I will not abandon the story. The story's almost over just a few more chapters to go, but at the same time I fill like the fun part is just about to begin. Let me know what you think so far :)**


	6. Where Are They!

**A/N: Warning for a bit stronger profanity than usual, nothing to bad tho**

It was just after noon when the squad room once again began to fill back up with detectives. Each had gone their separate ways in an attempt to find any information on Ian Rurik, the prime suspect in the pattern 15 serial rapist/killer case. Olivia was the the first to return, soon followed by Fin. Jane and Sonny arrived last, walking into the room with clear exhaustion on their faces "any luck guys?" Carisi asked as he roughly sat down in his chair, stretching to release the stress from his shoulders

"Nothing" Fin said as he shook his head disappointed in the lack of progress the case currently possessed

"Don't beat yourself up guys, we only I.D the perp this morning" Benson stated trying to bring back some energy in the room "we are making progress on this case and hopefully soon we'll have this bastard in custody"

"I know Lieutenant" Carisi answered looking directly at his commanding officer "its just... I want to catch this guy before he gets to another woman" he sighed trying to control his anxiousness "I can't help but feel responsible on cases like these when another victim falls pray to a psychopath, it feel like we failed to catch him in time"

"Sonny, you can't think like that" Jane said as she walked up to her cousin and messed up his hair in an attempt to get him out of his head. Jane knew how much it annoyed Sonny to have a bad hair day. "You'll burn out as a detective if you take every case to heart, the best thing you can do for a victim or possible future victims is to keep a level head and leave your emotions fare away form the case"

"Rizzoli's right Carisi" Benson interjected "you can't think about the what ifs right now, Rurik would only benefit if your heads not in the game"

"Copy that Lieutenant" Sonny said as he took another look around the squad room "hey, has anyone seen Amanda?"

The other occupants looked around the room as if she would appear out of the corner of their eyes. "It doesn't appear like she's returned yet" Fin said as he walked over to her desk, noticing that nothing has been moved since she had left the precinct earlier "maybe she was held up by Barba?"

"Perhaps, but it shouldn't have taken her this long" Benson said as she began to question her youngest detective's whereabouts "and she would've called to tell us she couldn't pick up Dr. Isles. Carisi call Rollins and see where she is" Benson ordered and Sonny wasted no time in completing the task

"I'll try to get a hold of Maura as well" Jane offered as she tried to contact her best friend

"That's strange she isn't answering" Carisi said as he was sent directly to Amanda's voice mail for the third time

"Neither is Maura, and that woman is glued to her phone. There's no way she would not at least respond with a text back"

Carisi began to tap his foot on the ground, indicating his growing anxiety "guys I have a bad feeling about this" he stated not being able to contain his worry any longer

"O.K guys hold your horses" Benson said with her hands up in a calming motion trying to control the emotions in the room "there could be many reasons as to why they are not picking up their phones. Barba was the last to speak with Rollins, maybe he knows where they are"

"I'll call him" Carisi said out loud as he was already dialing the DA's phone "Barba, have you seen Rollins?" the young detective asked as soon as he heard the attorney pick up the phone

"Carisi" Barba chided "it is very rude to yell into the phone the moment someone answers" the DA finished annoyed that the SVU detective startled him during his lunch

"Sorry 'bout that councilor, but we just really need to know if you know where Amanda is" Carisi quickly said, eager to learn what the DA might know

"Amanda?" Barba questioned "she left not more than an hour after she arrived, we finished quite fast today. Why, is she alright?" the Cuban man asked calmly, hiding the slight worry growing with him him. He would be quick to deny it, but he cared deeply for all of the detectives he worked with in SVU, even Carisi

"We're not sure councilor, but we're trying to find out"

"Contact me when you get an update" Barba said before ending the call with the young SVU detective

"Nothing huh" Fin said as Carisi put his phone away "I swear to God I should've put a GPS on her ass years ago" he said frustratedly, referencing a conversation they had months ago. Fin always complained that his partner was to prone to run off by herself and get into trouble if it meant bring down the perp any faster, he joked about putting a tracker on her so he could always be there to stop her from getting into danger. Amanda's only response to that was 'aw come on Fin, where's the fun in that'.

"GPS" Benson said out loud, more to herself then to the others "Amanda took a squad car right? We can track them with that"

As soon as the words left his commanding officer's mouth Carisi started typing in the information of the particular squad car Amanda borrowed when going out on NYPD business "got it" Carisi exclaimed "she's a few blocks from the convention center where the M.E conference is being held

"So they really might still be there?" Jane offered, trying to be optimistic. In truth she has had a bad feeling ever since she was unable to contact Maura

"There's only one way to find out" Sonny said as he grabbed his coat to walk out the door, the rest of the detectives hot on his tail

* * *

It didn't take long for the group to reach their destination, especially with them blaring the sirens the whole way. If he wasn't so tense, Carisi would have chuckled at the thought of Amanda being irate with them for making suck a ruckus over her, she really hated to be coddled.

"So here's her car" Fin said as he tapped on the front drivers side window, as if to prove his point that the car was indeed there "but where the hell is Amanda and that doctor from Boston" he questioned, not really expecting an answer

"I've just finished talking to some of the personnel at the convention" Jane said, slightly out of breath with Carisi following quickly behind her. The pair had ran down to the convention to see if they could find the two missing blonde women, and returned to Amanda's seemingly abandoned car a fast as possible once they were given an answer from the staff "Several employees at the function stated that Amanda and Maura left the center hours ago, in fact, somewhere around 9 in the morning"

Benson looked at her watch "it's nearly 1:30 now" she bit her lips, finally excepting the fact that her missing detective may be in actual danger and not just in trouble for forgetting to check in "they've been missing for about four and a half hours now. We know that they were last seen leaving the convention, but they never made it to their car" Benson said as she looked to each of the detectives before her "Search the area between here and the center, because that is where they probably went missing"

The detectives needed no further instructions and quickly went to work on trying to find any clues about their missing friends whereabouts. It did not take long before a shout was heard "Hey, I found something" Jane yelled to gather the attention of the others.

As the group approached the Boston detective they could not help but notice the dismayed expression she wore "what is is, Jane, what did you find" Carisi questioned his cousin, she simply held up a smashed phone, and pointed to the ground to indicate another, along with what seemed to be a taser.

"Its Maura's phone" Jane said as she handed the phone to Benson "and Amanda's is over there with a taser laying next to it" the Italian detective stated as she pursed her lips together "it's Rurik isn't it, he's got them"

As Jane said this Carisi's heart shattered, he could feel the blood rushing to his head and had to lean against the wall of the alleyway in order to not fall to his knees

"Carisi are you okay" Fin asked as he looked at the man who appeared as if he was about to pass out

"No, I'm not okay" Sonny said loudly with out taking his eyes off the ground "She's missing and in the hands of a man who happens to like to torture and rape blonde women!"

"We'll find them" Benson said placing a hand on his shoulder, as she tried to make eye contact with him

"We better"

* * *

It was only another hour before the detectives were back in the squad room poring over any and all security footage that may have had eyes on that alleyway. The detectives left CSU to pick through the crime scene with a fine tooth comb as they went off to find other possible leads to locate their missing friends faster.

After the second angle of security footage came up empty for Carisi, the young detective ran out of patience "Son Of A BITCH!" he yelled as he quickly stood from his desk and paced the room back and forth in frustration "where the hell are they!" he continued to yell

"Carisi, what the hell are you doing" Benson scolded him as she approached the distraught detective. She understood that this was a frustrating time and that he was worried for Amanda, but he was doing her no good acting like a child in the middle of their investigation

"What are _we_ doing, Liv?" Sonny exclaimed as he continued to pace "We have to find her before its to late

"We will find her Carisi, but not with you acting like this" Benson said as she grabbed his shoulder in order to stop his movements "our one advantage is that we know he likes to take his time with them" she shuttered, but that was also the most unsettling notion as well "he won't kill them anytime soon, so get back to work so we can find them"

"He takes his time? What the hell does that mean, what is he doing to them as we speak?" Carisi responded and Benson bit her lip in agitation , becoming more angry at her subordinate by the moment but still wishing she had chosen better words "We have to find her! I mean, what about Jesse, she's just a baby. Who's going to take care of her" with each word Carisi was becoming more distraught "Who's going to..." SMACK

The room froze in shock as Carisi held his left cheek, Jane standing in front of him glaring at her cousin. A few moments of silence passed, a pin drop could have been heard from the other room by how still the atmosphere became. Then the silence was broken once again by another slap to Carisi's face, finally the young detective looked his cousin in the eyes "Amanda's going to raise Jesse, we are going to find them and you are going to pull your fucking self out of what ever helpless pit you dug yourself into and get the hell back to work" Jane said loudly but calmly, still glaring daggers at her younger cousin " Your meltdown right now is putting Amanda and Maura in even greater danger, and so help me God I will beat your fucking ass if your going to delay our search any longer than you already have". The room became quiet again, the NYPD detectives were shocked to here the language coming from the otherwise happy woman's mouth "Every cop in the city is looking for Rurik" Jane spoke more softly this time "we _are_ going to find them, Sonny" she grabbed her cousin in a comforting embrace and they held each other for several long moments.

"Thanks Janey, I really needed that" Carisi finally spoke again and then turned to his Lieutenant "I'm sorry, Liv, I should have never disrespected you like that"

"It's alright Carisi, but it better not happen again, got it" she chided him good naturally, recognizing the stress everyone was in

"Roger that loud and clear" the young detective said with an impish smile "I just became frustrated because every agency had been looking for Rurik for years and they haven't found him" he sighed "sometimes I wish I could just grab a mobster off the streets and beat him until he could give us a location, everyone knows the mob has their own underground network of information" Carisi clenched his fist truly meaning what he said but understanding it pointless to try

"Your right, Sonny" the room looked at Jane with shock "we need more than the cops looking for Rurik, we need the mob to also find him" Jane said more to herself than to anyone else in the room

"Wait Rizzoli" Fin tried to interrupt her "how do you expect to get the mob to help us"

Jane payed the tan detective no heed as she pulled out her cell phone and quickly dialed a number "This is detective Jane Rizzoli from Boston PD, I need to speak to a prisoner about an urgent case" she spoke into the phone as the other occupants in the room watched her intently "Yes, his name is Paddy Doyle"

"Paddy Doyle?" Fin questioned "the infamous Irish mob crime boss" Jane simply nodded her head in response "why the hell would he help us?" he questioned, but got no response

"Jane Rizzoli" the squad herd the voice over the phone "to what do I owe the honor? You're interrupting my chess match with the captain of the guards?"

"This isn't a social call Doyle, Maura's in trouble" Jane dead panned, and the other detectives in the room were once again left to wonder why a mob boss would care for any personnel of the police force

"What happened?" Doyle said harshly over the phone "I swear if you got her in trouble..."

"She was kidnapped by a member of the Irish mob, along with another woman form the NYPD" Jane interrupted, not interested in hearing what Doyle would have threatened

"Who's the bastard that would dare touch my daughter!" Doyle hissed over the phone. Fin nearly fell off his chair at this revelation

"His name is Ian Rurik, a mob hitman with a pennant for raping and murdering blonde women in his spare time" Jane stated calmly, feeling no need to hold back from the man on the phone

"I've heard of that bastard" Doyle said as glass shattering could be heard over the phone, the old Irish man had thrown his glass chess set across the room in anger "I never did business with him, you know my code Jane, I would never hurt a woman or child on purpose"

"I don't give a crap about your code Doyle, I just want to know if you can save my friends, your daughter" Jane said harshly, knowing he had already broke his code once before by inadvertently killing the wife and child of her former captain

"Give me thirty minutes" and with that the line went dead

"Maura is his daughter?" Fin questioned

"Ya, her biological father is Doyle, but he didn't raise her, she has nothing to do with him" Jane said, feeling the need to defend her friend character

"Then why would he bother to help us" Benson questioned

"Because, believe it or not he has always tried to do right by his family, you could say she's his only real weakness"

"Alright then, I will except all the help we can get" Benson said as she picked up more files from Fins desk "even if it comes from the mob, but..." she emphasized the 'but' "we will not rely on it blindly, we will continue to work our own leads"

The group reinvested themselves into their work with a renewed vigor that was absent only a few minutes ago. "We're going to find you Amanda" Carisi mumbled to himself "I'm going to find you"

They worked in silence poring over any leads that they could find, no one willing to take a break for any reason. Carisi looked down at his watch, it had been forty minutes since Doyle hung up the phone, he shook his head, berating himself for thinking at even for a moment the man may have been the key to finding Amanda. Suddenly the silence in the room was cut short by a ringing phone. "Rizzoli" Jane answered quickly, but as suddenly as the call came it was over

"Who was it" Sonny asked eagerly

"I don't know, but he gave me an address of an abandoned cement factory and said my friends were there" Jane said as she grabbed her gun

"That's good enough for me" Fin jumped up also grabbing his gun

"Alright we follow this lead" Benson said "but act with caution, everyone's wearing a vest. We don't know what we're walking into"

With that the group hurried out the door determined to rescue their friends from the clutches of a mad man. No one was more determined than the tall male detective leading the group out of the precinct "hold on Amanda, we're coming for you" he mumbled to himself with determination in his eyes. Nothing was going to stop him from getting there in time "I'm coming for you"

 **A/N: so here's the latest chapter :) I hope you guys are enjoying this story as much as I am enjoying writing it. Next chapter will depict the event that occurred at the same time as this chapter, but from the perspective of Amanda and Maura.**


	7. Stop Please!

**A/N: sorry for the slight delay in updating... school :( there might be a trigger moment in this chapter for some, but nothing graphic at all. So reader's discretion to be advised.**

The air was damp and the floor was cold. Most of the light that permeated the room came from a single lamp that hung high up from the tall ceiling. It would sway ever so slightly when the wind blew threw the open window near the top of the wall. This open window did not bring in much sun light but it did allow a cold breeze to swirl around the small area, only to lower the temperature of the already cold room even further. There were two occupants in this small space; two blonde women that had their hands handcuffed to a small metal bar that was connected to the wall. This bar laid only a foot off the ground causing both woman to lean against the wall in an uncomfortable manner.

Amanda's head was resting on her shoulder as she laid unconscious on the ground. The sound of a leaky faucet slowly began to rouse the young detective from her sleep. She slowly turned her head from side to side in an attempt to gain a better connection with reality. Suddenly, when her memories of that morning came flooding back to her, she attempted to jump up only to be forcefully held back by her restrained hands; "shit" she hissed out at the pain that flared through her wrists. The blonde woman began to tug at her chains to test how sturdy the bar holding her in place was, and to her great dismay it was unmoving.

"Calm down Amanda" she said to herself as she tried to get her rapid heart beat under control "calm down and just think" she tried to reason. The young detective knew that panicking in any situation only made things worse, but no matter how hard she tried she could not completely swallow down the fear that was enveloping her whole being. In the process of scanning the room in an attempt to find a method of escape, she was able to see Maura in a similar position as her a few feet away. "Maura" she loudly whispered, afraid to alert any prying ears to her awoken status. "Dr. Maura Isles" she tried again but this time she got a low hum as a response "wake up Maura, you need to wake up this minute"

"No, just a little longer please" the blonde doctor responded in discomfort, obviously unaware of the danger they were currently in. At this comment Amanda reach out with her left foot and gently kicked at the doctors legs until she finally came out of her slumber "ow, would you quit it"

"Now's not the best time to take a nap, do you have any idea how long we were out" Amanda asked her companion

"Judging from the sourness in my body and the temperature in the room" the doctor said as she tried to stretch out her neck to relieve the pain that had set in "I would say several hours at least, but I can't be sure to exactly how long"

"I know my squad, they are definitely looking for us" Amanda said trying to remain hopeful

"And I know Jane will be turning over every stone to find where we are" Maura replied and a pregnant silence once again befell the room before the doctor spoke again "do you think its our serial whose taken us?"

"Well the abduction style matches his MO and we do fit his type" Amanda said as she swallowed the knot that was forming in her throat "what stupid luck" she bitterly chuckled

Before either of them could say another word the large metal door that sealed them away from the out side world began to open. In a few moments the door was completely pulled back to reveal a tall man of medium build with graying brown hair. He entered the room with a bucket of ice water behind him "oh so you ladies have finally decided to wake up" his voice was raspy and course, as if he had smoked every minute of his life for the last thirty years. "I was beginning to get impatient and brought some refreshments to wake you lasses up" he finished as he dropped the bucket harshly on the floor causing some of its content to lightly splash the two restrained women, they flinched in shock as the freezing water made contact with their skin.

"My what a fine gentleman you are" Amanda mumbled under her breath while giving him the angriest glare she could, she quickly looked away to regain control of her emotions. Their best bet in getting out of this situation was to buy some time and getting him angry was not the way to do it.

"Did you say something girl" Ian kneeled down in front of Amanda and roughly grabbed her chin, all she could do was slowly shake her head "I didn't think so"

"You don't have to do this" Maura spoke up "if you let us go right now the police will go easy on you"

"Go easy on me?" Ian laughed "they can't even find me, I have killed dozens of people and they have yet to ever get close to me" he said as he leaned over to gently caress the side of her cheek, and in a softer tone continued "what makes you so sure this time's going to be any different?"

"We have friends and family who will stop at nothing to get us back" Amanda fired back

"Doesn't every body" Ian scoffed "and if you're insinuating about your connections to the police, I'm fully aware of them, why do you think I targeted you in the first place. Grabbing the good doctor over here was simply a bonus deal I could not turn down" as he finished he stood and walked to the bucket looking down as if in deep thought "I went through all this trouble, might as well use it" he mused to himself as he picked up the ice water and pored it over the two women before they could even attempt to shield away from it.

"What the hell are you doing" Amanda yelled as she tried to shake to immense cold from her body

"Just making sure you're both well enough awake for the fun to begin" Ian said as he looked between the two blondes on the floor "now the real hard decision begins now. Which one of you should I start on first?" The doctor and the detective shared a horrified glance between themselves but were unable to speak before Ian started up again "The detective was my main goal but the doctor is not a bad treat as well... hmm, I know" he said as he once again kneeled by Maura "I will start with you first then switch off between the both of you saving the detective as the ultimate finale though"

"No, please don't do this" Maura begged as he grabbed at the light sweater she had on "just let us go"

"Everyone begs honey" Ian said as he looked her dead in the eye "each person has their own ways, some plead other threaten, and some even try to buy me off, but it never changes the inevitable. The best thing you can do is relax and try to enjoy our time together, in the end I will make you look beautiful and put you on display for the whole world to see"

"You're no artist Rurik" Amanda interrupted him in an attempt to draw his attention away from Maura "you're a coward who has to resort to ambushing women to take them because you don't have the strength to do it on your own"

"You best hold your tongue lass else I might cut it out for you" Rurik threatened as he turned his full attention over to the blonde detective

"Why? You can't handle to hear the truth?" Amanda continued to challenge him as he came closer to her, a move she almost instantly regretted as Ian kicked her hard right in the chest. This action caused her to scream out in pain as she tried to regain her breath. Amanda was not even aware of Maura screaming her name as Ian grabbed her by her hair and pulled her head back "listen here bitch, you're in my house now and while you won't be staying long you need to show me some proper respect" in his anger Rurik threw Amanda's head back into the wall causing her to see stars dance across her vision

"Stop please! You could kill her!" Maura yelled

"Not yet I won't! Not until I've had all my fun and have her begging for death" in his rage Ian ripped the buttons open of Amanda's blouse exposing her bra and skin underneath. Ian reached for a pocket knife from his back pocket and quickly cut a deep X mark under her left collar bone, even in her daze Amanda flinched at the pain. Rurik stood and exited the room only to return moments later with slices of lemon in hand. He took a piece and held it over the fresh cut and roughly covered it in the sour juice. This action caused the blonde detective to hiss out in pain at the stinging sensation that was now irritating her skin. "Most people think its the big injuries that could cause the most pain, but the small ones can hurt just as bad especially when helped along. The best part though is you could make it last much longer this way" Ian laughed wickedly as he caught the horrified expression Maura was giving him. "I know I said I would start with you first doll, but I need to teach her some manners real quick like". With that Ian began to uncuff Amanda from the wall only to recuff her hands once she was free of the bar, when she began to resist he once again slammed her head into the wall but this time giving her a large gash on the right side of her forehead that began to bleed. The detective quickly became weak and her movements more sluggish "you better stop fighting, I would really hate for you to be unconscious for this next part" he had finally dragged Amanda to her feet and began to walk out of the room "I have a much more suitable area for this next part" he said as he walked out the door leaving Maura alone in the room

Maura's heart was beating a mile a minute as she tried to break free of her bonds to help her friend that was being dragged out of the room. She knew it was useless, but she couldn't just sit there and do nothing as the young blonde detective was being violated. "Amanda" she yelled as she once again pulled at her chains, "let her go! Stop!" she yelled again as her wrists were cut by her efforts and she began to bleed. She heard some soft pleads from the other room that caused Maura to freeze "No! Stop Please!" the voice belonged to Amanda but it sounded weak. Maura knew the detective probably had a concussion and as such was in no condition to fight off Ian. The blonde doctor pulled her legs up in front of her and tried to burry her head in her shoulder, she did not want to hear this, she did not want to know what was gong on in the other room "please Jane... anyone. Please help us"

Moments later a loud ringing could be heard in the other room. She looked up startled by the sound "Son of a bitch" she heard Ian yell "Ya boss?" he answered. He was on the phone? Maura wondered as she had no visual confirmation "I'm in the middle of something, can't this wait a few hours at least... no, no... ok I understand. Just give me a moment" Maura herd some rustling outside the room, then suddenly a body was thrown unceremoniously inside and came to a stop just feet before Maura. "Alright go ahead boss" Ian continued as he shut the heavy Iron door behind him and locked it.

"Amanda!" Maura yelled as she looked over her younger companion. The detective laid on her side facing Maura, her shirt was still wide open and the cuts on her head on collar were still bleeding, but not excessively. What quickly drew the doctors eyes was the fact that Amanda's pants were missing, while her underwear still seemed intact she could not be sure what exactly was done to the helpless detective. "Amanda, honey please say something" Maura yelled not wanting her to slip into unconsciousness, with the chances of her having a concussion it could lead to a coma, "Amanda!" she yelled again starting to become frantic.

"Ya, I hear you" the detective answered with slurred words, another sign she had a concussion

"Thank God Amanda, can you move?" Maura asked hoping the answer was yes so the pair could work on a plan to escape

"Somewhat" was the simple response given as Amanda's eyes began to close

"No, you need to stay awake Amanda, its imperative. You have a concussion and if you sleep now who knows when you'll wake up again" Maura pleaded, she quickly racked her brain to think of a method to keep her injured companion awake "Jesse!" she yelled "Amanda, stay awake for Jesse" this seemed to work as Amanda's eyes opened again "tell me about her"

"She's a stubborn girl" Amanda said gaining the strength to look at the bound doctor "still just a baby and she already knows what she wants and what better stay the hell away from her" she smiles slightly at the thought of her little girl

"She's much like you I imagine" Maura said

"Unfortunately she is" the detective breathed out "just hope she turns out better than I did"

"You turned out just fine Amanda, you have a beautiful daughter, a great job, that not just anyone could handle bye the way, and a large family that would kill for you" Maura tried to remind her "You've better hope that Elizabeth or Angela don't find out about this or they'd skin this bastard alive"

Amanda chuckled at the thought of the two middle aged women getting revenge on the bastard that currently held them hostage "that wouldn't be such a bad thing"

"Well the biggest threat to Rurik would probably be Jane and Sonny" Maura said as she readjusted her position on the wall in an attempt to get closer to the injured detective on the floor

"At least I know Dom would take care of Jesse if anything should happen, although its not his responsibility" Amanda stated sadly as the need for sleep was once again over taking her

"Nothings going to happen to you, to us, alright" Maura said sternly trying to shake any negative thoughts the young detective might be having in her mind at the moment "Sonny is one of the best guys I've ever met and if he'd herd what you just said he would probably kick your butt"

Amanda chuckled "he could try, but I think I could take him" she sighed and turned to lay on her back so she could turn her head to face the door "sometimes I wish Dom could have been Jesse father, its weird to say because I know he doesn't feel that way about me but he would make a wonderful father, just a wonderful person to be in a relationship with"

Maura took a few moments to respond "Amanda, he loves you" at this the detective turned her head to face the doctor once again "I've known his family for years and I have never seen him as happy as I did when you two where together. He may not be Jesse's real father but I can tell he already loves her like a daughter, and take it from someone who was adopted, DNA does not a father make. It's the people who care for you and help you grow, that's what makes someone a father, that's what makes a family"

"When I first met Dom I thought he was annoying and bothersome, who would have guessed I would have developed such feelings for a single man from the Bronx. And of course it would take me being in this sort of situation to finally admit out loud how I fill" Amanda sighed and once agin looked towards the door. If she had the energy she would have jumped as she heard the heavy Iron door begin to swing open again. Not long after Rurik walked through the doorway.

"Turns out my boss just gave me an assignment, so we'll be having company in a few minuets, but that should be just enough time for us to finish what we've started" Ian said as he began to walk towards Amanda's weak and half dressed body on the floor "no rest for the weary I guess" as he stood over her he snickered at her current state "where's all that spunk you had earlier lass?"

"right here" Amanda grunted out as she spun her body to sweep Ian's legs out from under him causing the serial killer/rapist's body to come crashing to the ground. He groaned in pain as his head hit the floor, he was clearly disorientated but not unconscious and thus still a threat. Amanda had no more energy to fight him off, her heart dropped as he began to get up, she hoped he would hit his head hard enough to knock him out. Just as Amanda feared he would completely recover, Maura placed a hard kick to Ian's head, and when he fell hard again she gave him another kick for good measure.

"I never condone violence, but for him I would gladly make an exception a thousand times over" Maura said as she watched Rurik's unmoving body "Amanda, can you reach for his keys" the detective did not respond but simply crawled over to Ian's form and withdrew the keys from his front pocket. She was able to place the keys in Maura's hands before Amanda herself finally collapsed due to her own injuries "Amanda!" Maura yelled as she frantically tried to uncuff her hands. Once finally free Maura immediately ran to the detective's side and gathered her in her arms.

The blonde doctor was so concerned over the health of Amanda that she was nearly scared half to death when she hear someone clear their throat at the entrance of the room, "out of everything I could have imagined finding here this was certainly not one of them". Three men entered the room, looking around as if they were indifferent to the situation they saw before them. Once again Maura's heart was beating nearly out of her chest, 'this must be the company Rurik said was coming' she thought to herself as the tallest of the three stopped in front of them and began to reach towards her.

 **A/N: so more mobsters enter the scene haha, I wonder if this counts as a cliff hanger? I just think this is the best place to stop for now. So the story is almost over, please tell me what you think and how I can improve my writing.**


	8. I'll Keep You Safe

**A/N: So We've reached the last chapter of this story. It was a fun ride and I hope all of you enjoyed it. I have so many idea's bouncing around in my head but because of my dyslexia I am nervous that I'll just mess it up, but recently I decided to just have fun with it. So be prepared to see more stories from me, time permitting :)**

 **Someone asked if the story was also Rizzles and honestly I don't know. I am not very good at portraying romantic relationships, but if you see it as Rizzles then be my guest. Otherwise enjoy their very deep and sincere friendship.**

Maura was frozen in place as the new arrivals stood before her and the unconscious detective in her arms. The doctor still did not move when the apparent leader of the group crouched down to meet her face to face, "can you stand?" he said in an Irish accent. The man's voice held no malice or threat but it also offered no comfort. "Can you stand?" he asked again a bit more sternly. Maura was just barely able to nod her head, eyes still wide in terror "alright then get up and follow him out to the front" the man said as he pointed his thumb back at the largest person in the room. "Tiny, grab the unconscious lass from the floor" he ordered the man he just indicated to Maura.

"No!" Maura screamed as she held tighter on to Amanda's limp body in her arms, pulling her more into herself so as to cover the detective from the apparent threat in the room. Maura was going to fight tooth and nail to protect the woman in her arms, Amanda had done more than that when she deliberately drew Rurik's attention away from her not long ago.

"We mean you no harm Dr. Isles" the leader spoke again, Maura immediately shot the man a weary look "we work for your father".

"My father?" the blonde doctor questioned a moment later the realization hit her as hard as a freight train. "My father, Patty Doyle" she breathed "he sent you? How does even know I was missing?"

"You can thank your detective friend for that" he said as he rose from his position on the floor and walked over to Rurik's beaten body "she correctly assumed that your best bet in being found alive was through us, but I sure as hell wasn't expecting you to pummel this bastard before we arrived" he finished as he kicked the still man's boot, as if to test if he was truly out cold.

"Well we're not big on being damsels in distress" Maura retorted suddenly feeling the need to prove she still had more fight to give

"I can see that" the leader answered as he bent down to host the man who held them captive only moments ago against the wall "now please allow Tiny to take the two of you out front, your father gave us specific instructions on how to deal with this guy, and I'm sure you do not wish to see it"

Maura is a strong believer in the justice system and would normally hate to stand by and allow vigilantly violence to occur, but after quickly recalling what that man had done to her, or even more what he did to Amanda, she knew nothing they did would be enough of a punishment for him. The blonde doctor reluctantly relinquished her hold on her helpless friend as Tiny grabbed her from her arms. Maura threw one last glance at her would be captor as she followed the large man through the door and out to the front of the building.

"There we go" Tiny said in a soft voice as he laid Amanda gently on the floor leaning against the building "your friends are on their way, they should be here soon". Maura quickly sat besides her and once again grabbed the detective so she was wrapped protectively against her. She then removed her light sweater and did her best to cover Amanda's exposed body "What are you going to do to him" she questioned, a morbid curiosity over coming her.

"Nothing that you should be concerned about" Tiny answered before he walked back into the building shutting large doors behind him

* * *

The moment Jane received that phone call with the suspected location of Maura and Amanda, Carisis's heart started racing. He felt excitement corse through him, the thought of having Amanda back safely in his arms was the only thing that he cared about, but at the same time his fear was threatening to overwhelm him. He could not help but think about all of the things Rurik could be doing to her at that very moment.

Carisi was vibrating in his seat nearly already out the door when they entered the industrial park that was meant to house the abandoned warehouse the two blondes were being held in. The moment they turned the corner on the building Benson spotted the women outside "There they are!" she yelled as they pulled up close to them. Carisi did not wait for the car to come to a complete stop as he jumped out of the vehicle and sprinted to Amanda's side.

"Amanda!" he yelled as he came upon the two women. He quickly noticed his partner's torn shirt and missing pants "what happened?" he said in a strong voice trying to contain his emotions from spilling out. Amanda needed him to be strong at the moment not the withering mess that he was so close to being. Not less than a moment later the rest of the group caught up to the trio on the floor.

"We were able to knock out Rurik before Doyle's men came looking for us" Maura breathed out in a rush "they took us out side and left to handle Rurik. They should still be in there"

"Fin, Jane, with me" Benson ordered as she indicated the building "Carisi stay with them until the bus arrives" Carisi didn't even respond, he simply kept his eyes on the unconscious form of the detective before him as he held tightly onto her hand. "Dr. Isles how many guys are we looking at"

"Three of Doyle's men, four if you count Rurik, but he was in no condition to be a threat anymore last I saw him" and with that the three entered the building leaving the two blondes and the Italian detective out side.

"What happened?' Carisi said again this time making it clear that he wanted to know exactly what happened to Amanda

"Rurik had us both tied to the wall, he was going to start with me" Maura sighed, she was starting to feel the exhaustion from the day weigh down on her "Amanda drew his attention to save me"

"That sounds like her" Carisi said with a sad smile

"He ripped open her shirt and carved that X below her collar bone" Maura continued as she pointed to the wound "he slammed her head against the wall a few times because she wouldn't stop fighting him, that's how she got the gash, I believe she has a concussion" She said fearfully, knowing the risk of the young detective falling into a coma. Carisi gently let his hand hover over the wound that had stopped bleeding "then he took her to a different room" Maura paused and looked directly into his eyes, and with great pain she continued "when Rurik threw her back into the room her pants were gone"

"Did he r...rape her?" Carisi had difficulty even saying the word, but he had to know

"I can't say for certain" Maura began "she was in another room, like I said, but... I could hear her begging him to stop"

At this news Carisi bit down hard on his lip trying to hold in his emotions, the pain. He was shaking his head up and down as if he was trying to process all of that information but it just kept getting stuck. Maura could hear the almost sob in his voice as he answered O.K to her explanation. She tried to look away to give the two some form of privacy as Carisi placed his forehead against Amanda's in a need to be closer to her. He only moved once the others returned from the building, corresponding to the arrival of the paramedics.

"There's no sign of Doyle's men" Fin said as he walked up to the three on the ground just as the medics reached Amanda and had to near pry Carisi away from her.

"What about Rurik?" Carisi asked as he stood to get out of the way, eyes never leaving Amanda

"He's still in there... dead" Jane answered as she walked up to Maura to give the doctor moral support. The two embraced each other in a secure hug needing to ensure that this moment was real and they were safe.

"Doyle's men did a number on him" Benson added "they cut off his genitals and stuffed them into his mouth but finished him off with an ice pick to the heart" the brunette finished feeling no sympathy for the man's fate.

"I hope he suffered" Carisi said bitterly before jumping into the back of the ambulance to ride with Amanda to the hospital. No one said a word but they all agreed with him.

* * *

Amanda's body was sore, at moments it even felt difficult to breath, but she would ignore her body's desire to continue to sleep. She thought she heard the faint sound of a conversation in the distance. She tried to open her eyes to see where the noise was coming from but found the task daunting. She tried again and was able to flutter them open before she had to shut them again due to the bright light that instantly assaulted her eyes.

"Hey I think she's waking up" she heard a voice say, a voice that sounded suspiciously like her lieutenant's. Once again she fought to open her eyes and she felt a hand squeeze her own in an almost desperate manner. When she finally managed to open her eyes she recognized the faces of Benson, Carisi, and Jane.

"W... Wh... What happened" Amanda was able to manage through her dry mouth

"Don't try to speak just yet, Amanda" Olivia said in a soft manner as she reached for a cup of water with a straw in it, and offered it to the blonde. Amanda drank the water greedily until she felt confidant enough to attempt speech once more.

"Where's Maura?" Amanda questioned

"She's no worse for the wear" Jane answered "in fact she was just notified that she's being released, her only real injury being the cuts on her wrists from the restrains"

"Good, when can I leave" the blonde detective stated as she attempted to get up, but was instantly pushed down by Carisi, who was closest to the bed

"You're not going anywhere yet missy" Carisi said sternly but with a genuine smile on his face, he knew how much she hated hospitals and being restrained to bedrest. He thought back to the time she was put on bed rest during her pregnancy with Jesse and he nearly had to bribe her with her favorite foods every night for diner to get her to rest properly. "You were out for at least three hours, they need to make sure you're alright"

"Three hours? You make it seem like a long time" she tried to joke but stopped as she felt the pain shoot through her chest from the kick she received from Rurik. The grimace did not go unnoticed by the other occupants in the room. "What happened to Rurik?"

"He was killed by rival mobsters" Jane said, not really wanting to go into detail about Maura's connection to them at the moment "they cut off his manhood and shoved it in his mouth, then stabbed him through the heart"

Amanda made no reaction at this news and it concerned Olivia. "Amanda, we're going to need you to go through a rape kit" everyone in the room tensed up at this statement,

"He didn't rape me" the blonde detective said quickly as she looked away from the other occupants in the room from embarrassment but then swallowed hard and looked her lieutenant dead in the eyes and repeated "he didn't rape me"

"Sweety, when we found you your shirt was ripped open, your pants were gone and Maura said he took you in a separate room for a while" Benson said in a soft and understanding voice. She recognized Amanda's desire to not be victimized agin, to suffer the embarrassment of being found in such a state. The older woman feared what repercussions this event would have for her youngest detective. Benson knew that Amanda never truly dealt with her assault from Patton and she wasn't going to let her try and push this under the rug as well.

"Exactly, she could not see what was happening, I wasn't even with him alone for long" the young detective argued, she was exhausted but refused to settle down until they believed her

"Okay Amanda come down" Benson tried to reason with her "yes, she could not see you but she said she heard things, heard you begging him to stop"

At this Amanda's cheeks flushed reh and she tried to fight back the different emotions that were flooding through her at that moment "Okay, I was asking him to stop, and I admit his intention was to rape me" she breathed to gather the strength to continue "but he didn't rape me, he only..." she swallowed her rising shame. She felt so frustrated to be put in this position again. Why did she have to park so fare away from the convention center and let Maura and herself get taken hostage. Why couldn't she have fought harder so as to not be taken in the first place. Why did she have to tell them what he did to her. Why did Carisi have to be right next to her and have to listen to this. Amanda was beginning to be pulled into the dark recesses of her mind. Dark corners where all she could feel was Patton and Rurik assaulting her again. She was afraid she would be stuck there forever, that is until she felt Carisi's hand in hers once again. She looked at him and he gave her a genuine smile that said nothing but at the same time everything. "... Rurik only touched me" Amanda breathed out. It was better than being raped she guessed but it was still difficult to admit to her colleagues.

"He only touched you?" Benson repeated and Amanda nodded "touched you like how?" she questioned, she knew this put Amanda in an awkward position but she needed to know the extent of the damage.

Amanda looked away again, anger and grief merging together "he fondled okay" she bit out "and slipped his hand in places I didn't want, but that's it alright. Please can we do this another time, I just don't want to deal with this right now" Amanda implored

"okay I believe you" the blonde instantly felt relief. To be believed felt gratifying for some reason. "But Amanda this is not just going to disappear, we're going to have to take your full statement by tomorrow" Amanda nodded as Benson spoke. Olivia felt terrible forcing her to relive the terrible events that she just went through, but the Lieutenant knew from personal experience that talking about the trauma helps with the healing. She was going to make dam sure that this time Amanda would find the help she needed, even if she had to drag her into a therapists office herself.

"Where's Fin?" Amanda asked abruptly, noticing the absence of her long time partner

"He stayed behind at the crime scene" Jane said from the foot of her bed "he wanted to make sure that everything was squared away with the case 'no lose ends' I believe he said" Amanda smiled at this. She knew her partner would have loved to be constantly by her side since the moment she was found, but he understands her better than most and would recognized her desire to be given some space. She understood that Fin handling the clean up was his way of being there for her without having to encroach on her need to feel independent.

"I think he should be almost done by now" Benson added "He said he would come straight over once he was through. I'm going to give him a call, tell him you're awake" and with that she wished Amanda well and headed out to notify Fin of their friends progress.

"Where's Jesse, Carisi, I need to see her" Amanda spoke up suddenly feeling the need to be with her daughter

"She's with my mom and Elle, I didn't want her to stay in a hospital any longer then she needed to be, god knows what kinds of illnesses she could pick up" Carisi said and Amanda instantly laughed at his protectiveness over her daughter

"Why is your mom watching Elle? What happened to Belle?" Amanda asked thinking it weird for Elizabeth to be caring for both babies in the late afternoon. Carisi was unable to answer her before the door to the room was roughly swung open.

"She's awake! Thank God, she's awake where is she" everyone in the room turned to see Angela quickly enter the room and make a bee line for the bed. She gave Amanda a big kiss on the forehead, careful to avoid the bandage over the gash she received earlier. "How are you dear, I heard you went through quite the ordeal today". The moment The Rizzoli family heard about Amanda and Maura's abduction they left for New York. They spent the day with the rest of the Carisi family hanging on every moment for updates in the search for their missing family members. So naturally when they two had been found the extended family rushed to the hospital and have been camping in the waiting area ever since, much to the displeasure of the hospital staff.

"Ma!" Jane yelled as she rushed to pull the Italian mother off of the blonde detective "this is a hospital, for Pete's sake, you can't be making all of this noise"

"Oh fooy, I need to know how my future niece is doing. The hospital be dammed" Angela said as she shrugged off her daughter's hold "now honey, they told me your going to be staying the night and I know how much hospital food sucks, so me and Elizabeth are making a home made lasagna and we're going to sneak it in to you later ok" the elder woman held tight onto her arm, she knew that what Amanda went through was terrifying, she had spoken to Maura earlier, but the only way she knew how to show her support was to cook food and be her loud usual self. A fact that Amanda would come to greatly appreciate.

Not long after Angela entered the rest of the Rizzoli and Carisi families began to pour into the room and since the area was too small to accommodate everyone, constant hellos and good wishes were being yelled from the hall way. Amanda was grateful for all the love she was receiving but at the same time she didn't feel like she could handle all of this attention right now. Jane recognized the blonde's discomfort and ushered the group out again, yelling "this is a hospital people, not a family reunion. Come on get out give her some room" Jane continued to usher them out "I'll make them go home for tonight but I can't stop them from coming tomorrow, so be prepared" and with that Carisi and Amanda were left alone.

There was an awkward silence that fell upon the room that came with the sudden loss of the loud Italian family. For several moments neither of the two said a word. The mood instantly shifted as Sonny let out a low chuckle, and Amanda looked at him with a smile of her own, brought about by his strange behavior. "What is it?" she asked.

"Nothing" he said as his face became stoic once more "just that our family sure loves to intrude" she did not miss the fact that he said 'our' when he mentioned his family "but hey, through thick or thin, at least they'll always be there for us, huh" Sonny finished with a saddening face

Once again a pregnant silence befell the two, the tension was rising. So much needed to be said but neither of them knew how to start the conversation. Amanda was about to say something when Carisi began to shake his head back and forth slowly, his eyes shut tight and his lips in a hard thin line. "Dom?" Amanda whispered but that only made him shake his fead faster "Dominick, please look at me"

"I can't" Carisi was able to muster out in a near broken voice. For a moment Amanda feared it was the way she looked and instantly became self conscious about her appearance, but before she could think again he continued "If I open my eyes I will cry... and right now I need to be strong for you, I have no right to cry, you're the one that just went through hell" he sobbed out

"Dom" Amanda said again, but his eyes remained shut "you don't have to be strong for me now, you were strong when I was missing and I know you did everything you could" she reached out and gently held the side of his face. His eyes instantly opened at the contact and true to his word the tears fell freely from his eyes and down his face.

Sonny grabbed onto Amanda's hand and held it in place with his own. He wanted, no he needed to feel her at that moment. When he finally managed to see through the constant stream of tears that was still cascading down his face he noticed some falling from her eyes as well. " Oh God" he sobbed again "I'm sorry about this" he gently reached up his hand to wipe away the tears from her eyes " Amanda, please don't do this ever again, don't disappear, please" he was begging now, and while he knew she had no fault what so ever in her abduction he had no other way of communicating his feelings. "Please just stay by my side forever, I'll keep you safe, I'll die before I'll let anyone grab you again" they made direct eye contact and with each statement he leaned in closer to her "please just promise me you'll be with me forever"

They were inches apart by this moment and Amanda wanted to say yes but before she could respond her lips were met by his and any words that would have been spoken was lost in that instant. Her mind instantly went blank and everything that had happened, all of the stress, all of her fears melted away in the embrace of the man she trusted the most. The kiss was gently but full of passion as they seemed to fit perfectly with each other. In that moment Amanda felt the safest she been since before she could even remember. If either of them had there way, they would have stayed like that for an eternity, but...

"Amanda" the two detectives so caught up in the moment did not notice the knock at the door "Oh man, sorry to interrupt" the pair quickly puled apart and turned to see the new arrival. Just beyond the door stood a shock Fin with his arms crossed. He had to try his hardest not to laugh at the scene he just interrupted, the pair looked like a two teenagers caught doing the nasty for the first time."So you _are_ banging my partner" Fin said sternly but then cracked a smile towards Carisi, recalling the question he had asked the Italian detective when Jane first came to town "Well then, you better know the rules, first you break her heart I break your neck, and second please use protection because I don't think I can handle a mini Carisi running around yet" he chuckled as Amanda threw her empty plastic cup at him "Wow baby girl, I get the message, I'll leave" he said as he headed out the door, but he quickly added "but maybe you should lock the door, or put a sock on the nob so no one will walk in on you two, especially if you have anything more intimate planned" he finished by wiggling his eyebrows and shut the door behind him as both Amanda and Sonny yelled "Fin!"

"You know we probably should lock the door" Carisi said with a smile and Amanda gave him a light hit on the arm and matched his smile with one of her own. He ignored the hit as they once again leaned into another kiss, a kiss this time that wouldn't be interrupted.

 **The END**

 **A/N: So there we are, I hope you guys enjoyed the ending. Like I said I'm not very good with couple or romantic things, but I gave it my best shot. Please tell me what you thought of the chapter and the story as a whole, did it flow good? I would like to improve my writing and feed back is the best way.**


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